TRUE LEADERSHIP

True Leadership Means Coming From a Place of Responsibility
By: Rob Hubert

Here's a tough question for you. If you are stuck in a traffic jam; Are you responsible for it?
In a recent discussion with my friend Ed Garner who is also a Life Coach, he asked a simlar question. Of course I thought, "No", I didn't cause this traffic jam, therefore I'm not responsible for it.

The most important lesson of leadership is taking responsibility for results and looking at results from an accountability perspective. In the book "Leadership and Self Deception", from the Harbinger Institute, the main character gets a new job with a company that has figured out why people have a tendency to go "Victim".

The Harbinger Institute does a great job of communicating that it's not what you do that matters, but it's why you do it. We deceive ourselves in subtle ways into thinking that we're doing the right thing for the right reason. We really do know what the right thing to do is, but this constant self-justification becomes such an ingrained habit that it's hard to break free --it's as though we're trapped in a box, the authors say. In a sense, this self-deception causes me to go victim.

I become a victim anytime that I blame someone else for the situation or circumstances that I find myself in. I notice I'm in victim by my words and thoughts. When I use the word "THEY", I catchmyself instantly and I know I'm not coming from a place of true responsibility. Replacing "THEY" with "I" changes my perspective and the context in which I speak.

For example, the elevators in our building have been undergoing renovation for over a year and everyone that I work with knows that I have a love/hate relationship with the elevators. I also have a lot of appointments outside of the office and I take responsibility for being on time for those appointments. I sometimes work until the very last second until I have to leave and still be on time, often forgetting the elevators may cause a delay. I leave the office in a haste only to get stuck waiting for the elevator. My thoughts turn me into a victim of the elevator renovation, "I'm going to be late because THEY are running slow again today" You can always identify a victim thought when someone is late, because there is always an excuse for being late. The tardy person may say, "I'm sorry I was late because of (fill in the blank)".

True Leadership means that I take responsibility for my choices. In my elevator situation, I chose to leave at the last minute and If I'm late, then I'm late because I chose to stay and work a few minutes longer. This is the difference between a VICTIM and a VICTOR. Victim-thinking holds you back and keeps you from getting what it is that you want. I've worked hard to switch out of Victim very quickly and now I very rarely find myself thinking this way and when I do find myself thinking Victim - I'm able to shift to Victor quickly by using the word "I".

Back to the original question: What am I responsible for when I'm caught in the traffic jam? I'm responsible for my choices. If the highway is full of cars and I'm in the middle of it, then I chose to be in it. I'm held accountable to my choices. Same thing goes for you, if you are not meeting expectations in your job, or if you are searching for a job and haven't found one yet, then you are responsible for your results and only you can make the choice to change that. Results are often harsh, but always fair.