Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Meetings Bloody Meetings
BAD MEETING MANAGEMENT
IntroductionMeetings are a very important part of the management process in any company. The main objective of meetings is to get the people involved in a project or problem to meet, discuss and come up with solutions. It is as simple as that. However from informal surveys carried out with the participants in my training sessions, I gather that meetings are one of the most mismanaged of management functions in Malaysia.
The complaints are usually focused on three items i.e.
a.There are too many meetings.
b.They take up too much time.
c.They are not effective, i.e. a ball park figure of 50% is usually given.
The question therefore asked is, “Why are there so many meetings and why aren’t they effective?” Thankfully, this is not only a Malaysian phenomenon, as it also exists in America. In a survey done by MCI, one of the leading telecommunications company in America, these were the following findings about meetings in Corporate America.
a.Approximately 11 million meetings occur in the U.S. each day.
b.Most professionals attend a total of 61.8 meetings per month and research indicates that over 50 percent of this meeting time is wasted. This comes to approximately four work days in a month.
c.Most professionals who meet on a regular basis admit to daydreaming (91%).
d.A large percentage (73%) say they bring other work to meetings and 39% say they have dozed during meetings. I am most certain, that these statistics, although taken from America also mirrors the way meetings are held and viewed in Malaysia.
Reasons for Unproductive MeetingsI will define unproductive meetings as meetings that only partially achieve its objectives. As 50% of meetings fall under this category (from my informal survey), I will now try to state some of the reasons why this happens.
a. Routine Meetings
Routine meetings are one of the biggest culprits of non-productive meetings. How many of us walk off to the meeting room on a Monday morning because we have to attend this ritualized ‘manager’s meeting’. Sometimes we do not even know what is going to be discussed and sometimes we do not even care. Worse still, there is nothing serious to discuss, but since everyone is around, trivial matters are discussed to justify the forum, to the annoyance of many of the meeting participants. Once a meeting becomes a ritual, then there is always the danger that people will find ‘something’ to discuss.
b. Weak Chairman
Meetings which have an excellent agenda are sometimes led astray because of a weak chairman. How many times have I seen the following scenario taking place i.e. a decision is made at the first meeting after a long drawn out discussion. At the next meeting someone raises the issue again and the same discussion takes place one more time to the frustration of the meeting participants. Sometimes you just feel like telling someone to tape the original discussion and then just play it back at the next meeting!Meetings also take a long time, because the chairman is not able to control the meeting well and allows some individuals who have ‘verbal diarrhea’ to dominate proceedings. From my experience, these individuals contribute a lot, but only in quantity but certainly not in terms of quality.
Another trait of a bad chairman is the fact that they are loathe to making decisions on their own but want to try to reach consensus. And as we are all aware, trying to decide on a simple matter like the date for a family day can be a torturous affair if consensus is required. HabitAnother reason for unproductive meetings in Malaysian organizations is as a result of bad habits. For example, when something goes wrong at the Marketing dept, the usual temptation and habit is to call for a meeting of all department heads to ‘get their views’. The Human Resource manager then goes for the meeting, stays quiet for three hours i.e. the duration of the meeting and then leaves without having made any contribution as he lacks comprehensive knowledge of the issue being discussed. He was there only because it was the requirement for all Heads of Departments to be there. And usually a meeting like this takes place with twelve participants but only three individuals do most of the talking as they are the experts. Wouldn’t it have been better to just call these three people for the meeting?
Deviation from the Agenda
Due to lack of control, individuals try to bring up lots of other issues that have nothing to do with the original agenda. The discussions then deviate such that more emphasis is given to the side issues rather than the main item on the agenda. I have many a time been at meetings where the main objective for example, is aimed at discussing the format of a new performance appraisal system, but however degenerates and ends up discussing the need for extra car parks for employees! More time is spent on this issue as lots of personal interests come into play then the latter subject. A weak chairman does not help either.
Measures to Ensure Effective Meetings
Meetings, as we know are a very important part of an organization’s management system. We are also aware however that that there are too many meetings held and those that are held are to a large extent unproductive. There is also the cost factor to be taken into account during unproductive meetings. Firstly are the salary costs of every meeting participant. Meetings also keep people away from the tasks they were hired to perform i.e. tasks that make money for the company and keep the business more efficient and effective. Then there are the miscellaneous costs of bringing people to the meeting who are outstation or even overseas. In addition to this financial cost, there is also the human cost such as poor morale, frustrated management, etc. This happens especially, when there is a culture of bad meetings in an organization.
How then can we make meetings more productive?
What are the measures that we can take to ensure meetings are able to achieve their objectives? Is a meeting necessary?One of the first things we must do before calling a meeting is to ask whether ‘there is a need for a meeting in the first place.’ Are you calling a meeting because it is an organizational ritual, or are you doing it because it really is necessary? Give a thought to the costs involved. Before making the decision make certain that the value you would receive would be greater than the investment in time and the interruption to work flow of the people involved in the meeting.
Ground Rules
Always have ground rules during meetings. These could be permanent features at meeting rooms. Cover such things as speaking rules; focusing on issues and not personalities; staying on the agenda etc. When people are aware of what is expected of them, they are much more likely to adhere to these rules and thereby contribute to a more productive meeting.In Intel, for example, in all meeting rooms there is a poster with a series of simple questions such as “Do you know the purpose of this meeting”? “Do you have an agenda”? “Do you follow the rules for good minutes”?These posters are a visual reminder of just how serious Intel is about productive meetings. In addition all employees of Intel are required to attend the company's in-house course on effective meetings. In fact, the CEO Andy Grove himself taught at these courses as he wanted good meeting management to be part of the culture of Intel.
The Agenda
I think one of the most important items before a meeting is to put some thought into the agenda. This step can make or break a meeting.
1.Outline agenda ahead of time. Outline ahead of time what is the objective of the meeting and points that will be covered. Write it out, and distribute it to participants ahead of time. This will help participants to be more prepared for the meeting. No one can say they did not know.
2.Agendas should be strictly adhered to. This might sound very basic, but is definitely a problem in the Malaysian context. People tend to use the meeting forum to bring up issues that they have a personal interest in and the Chairman must use the agenda as an excuse to prevent this from happening.
3.Limit the Agenda to Three Points or Less: Ask yourself, "What are the three most important things we need to cover in the meeting?" Limit the agenda to just these three points. Trying to solve all of the company’s problems in one meeting is a definite route to disaster. Set a Time LimitTime limits are important as it creates pressure on the chairman and the members of the meeting to have quality discussions. One reason meetings drag on is that people don't appreciate how expensive they are. The time limits set must be realistic and in congruence with the objectives of the meeting. Many management gurus’ invoke the rule that meetings should last no longer than 90 minutes. Get the right peopleHow many times have I seen people coming for meetings who are not sure why they are there in the first place? It is better to have a meeting with three people who can contribute rather than 20 people who are there for the sake of being there.
Conclusion
Bad meetings are probably one of the most pervasive yet underestimated problem in Malaysian organizations. The saying "If I don't have to go to meetings, I'd like my job a lot more" is definitely something that many Malaysian managers hold dear to their heart. On the other hand, good meetings can be a very powerful way to communicate and solve organizational problems.
Managers must realize that it is a necessary management tool and what they have to do is to be able to use that tool as effectively as possible so as to create a positive impact on organizational effectiveness and efficiency.
IntroductionMeetings are a very important part of the management process in any company. The main objective of meetings is to get the people involved in a project or problem to meet, discuss and come up with solutions. It is as simple as that. However from informal surveys carried out with the participants in my training sessions, I gather that meetings are one of the most mismanaged of management functions in Malaysia.
The complaints are usually focused on three items i.e.
a.There are too many meetings.
b.They take up too much time.
c.They are not effective, i.e. a ball park figure of 50% is usually given.
The question therefore asked is, “Why are there so many meetings and why aren’t they effective?” Thankfully, this is not only a Malaysian phenomenon, as it also exists in America. In a survey done by MCI, one of the leading telecommunications company in America, these were the following findings about meetings in Corporate America.
a.Approximately 11 million meetings occur in the U.S. each day.
b.Most professionals attend a total of 61.8 meetings per month and research indicates that over 50 percent of this meeting time is wasted. This comes to approximately four work days in a month.
c.Most professionals who meet on a regular basis admit to daydreaming (91%).
d.A large percentage (73%) say they bring other work to meetings and 39% say they have dozed during meetings. I am most certain, that these statistics, although taken from America also mirrors the way meetings are held and viewed in Malaysia.
Reasons for Unproductive MeetingsI will define unproductive meetings as meetings that only partially achieve its objectives. As 50% of meetings fall under this category (from my informal survey), I will now try to state some of the reasons why this happens.
a. Routine Meetings
Routine meetings are one of the biggest culprits of non-productive meetings. How many of us walk off to the meeting room on a Monday morning because we have to attend this ritualized ‘manager’s meeting’. Sometimes we do not even know what is going to be discussed and sometimes we do not even care. Worse still, there is nothing serious to discuss, but since everyone is around, trivial matters are discussed to justify the forum, to the annoyance of many of the meeting participants. Once a meeting becomes a ritual, then there is always the danger that people will find ‘something’ to discuss.
b. Weak Chairman
Meetings which have an excellent agenda are sometimes led astray because of a weak chairman. How many times have I seen the following scenario taking place i.e. a decision is made at the first meeting after a long drawn out discussion. At the next meeting someone raises the issue again and the same discussion takes place one more time to the frustration of the meeting participants. Sometimes you just feel like telling someone to tape the original discussion and then just play it back at the next meeting!Meetings also take a long time, because the chairman is not able to control the meeting well and allows some individuals who have ‘verbal diarrhea’ to dominate proceedings. From my experience, these individuals contribute a lot, but only in quantity but certainly not in terms of quality.
Another trait of a bad chairman is the fact that they are loathe to making decisions on their own but want to try to reach consensus. And as we are all aware, trying to decide on a simple matter like the date for a family day can be a torturous affair if consensus is required. HabitAnother reason for unproductive meetings in Malaysian organizations is as a result of bad habits. For example, when something goes wrong at the Marketing dept, the usual temptation and habit is to call for a meeting of all department heads to ‘get their views’. The Human Resource manager then goes for the meeting, stays quiet for three hours i.e. the duration of the meeting and then leaves without having made any contribution as he lacks comprehensive knowledge of the issue being discussed. He was there only because it was the requirement for all Heads of Departments to be there. And usually a meeting like this takes place with twelve participants but only three individuals do most of the talking as they are the experts. Wouldn’t it have been better to just call these three people for the meeting?
Deviation from the Agenda
Due to lack of control, individuals try to bring up lots of other issues that have nothing to do with the original agenda. The discussions then deviate such that more emphasis is given to the side issues rather than the main item on the agenda. I have many a time been at meetings where the main objective for example, is aimed at discussing the format of a new performance appraisal system, but however degenerates and ends up discussing the need for extra car parks for employees! More time is spent on this issue as lots of personal interests come into play then the latter subject. A weak chairman does not help either.
Measures to Ensure Effective Meetings
Meetings, as we know are a very important part of an organization’s management system. We are also aware however that that there are too many meetings held and those that are held are to a large extent unproductive. There is also the cost factor to be taken into account during unproductive meetings. Firstly are the salary costs of every meeting participant. Meetings also keep people away from the tasks they were hired to perform i.e. tasks that make money for the company and keep the business more efficient and effective. Then there are the miscellaneous costs of bringing people to the meeting who are outstation or even overseas. In addition to this financial cost, there is also the human cost such as poor morale, frustrated management, etc. This happens especially, when there is a culture of bad meetings in an organization.
How then can we make meetings more productive?
What are the measures that we can take to ensure meetings are able to achieve their objectives? Is a meeting necessary?One of the first things we must do before calling a meeting is to ask whether ‘there is a need for a meeting in the first place.’ Are you calling a meeting because it is an organizational ritual, or are you doing it because it really is necessary? Give a thought to the costs involved. Before making the decision make certain that the value you would receive would be greater than the investment in time and the interruption to work flow of the people involved in the meeting.
Ground Rules
Always have ground rules during meetings. These could be permanent features at meeting rooms. Cover such things as speaking rules; focusing on issues and not personalities; staying on the agenda etc. When people are aware of what is expected of them, they are much more likely to adhere to these rules and thereby contribute to a more productive meeting.In Intel, for example, in all meeting rooms there is a poster with a series of simple questions such as “Do you know the purpose of this meeting”? “Do you have an agenda”? “Do you follow the rules for good minutes”?These posters are a visual reminder of just how serious Intel is about productive meetings. In addition all employees of Intel are required to attend the company's in-house course on effective meetings. In fact, the CEO Andy Grove himself taught at these courses as he wanted good meeting management to be part of the culture of Intel.
The Agenda
I think one of the most important items before a meeting is to put some thought into the agenda. This step can make or break a meeting.
1.Outline agenda ahead of time. Outline ahead of time what is the objective of the meeting and points that will be covered. Write it out, and distribute it to participants ahead of time. This will help participants to be more prepared for the meeting. No one can say they did not know.
2.Agendas should be strictly adhered to. This might sound very basic, but is definitely a problem in the Malaysian context. People tend to use the meeting forum to bring up issues that they have a personal interest in and the Chairman must use the agenda as an excuse to prevent this from happening.
3.Limit the Agenda to Three Points or Less: Ask yourself, "What are the three most important things we need to cover in the meeting?" Limit the agenda to just these three points. Trying to solve all of the company’s problems in one meeting is a definite route to disaster. Set a Time LimitTime limits are important as it creates pressure on the chairman and the members of the meeting to have quality discussions. One reason meetings drag on is that people don't appreciate how expensive they are. The time limits set must be realistic and in congruence with the objectives of the meeting. Many management gurus’ invoke the rule that meetings should last no longer than 90 minutes. Get the right peopleHow many times have I seen people coming for meetings who are not sure why they are there in the first place? It is better to have a meeting with three people who can contribute rather than 20 people who are there for the sake of being there.
Conclusion
Bad meetings are probably one of the most pervasive yet underestimated problem in Malaysian organizations. The saying "If I don't have to go to meetings, I'd like my job a lot more" is definitely something that many Malaysian managers hold dear to their heart. On the other hand, good meetings can be a very powerful way to communicate and solve organizational problems.
Managers must realize that it is a necessary management tool and what they have to do is to be able to use that tool as effectively as possible so as to create a positive impact on organizational effectiveness and efficiency.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Eat that FROG ???
an article summarized from Brian Tracy’s classic video clip entitled “Eat that Frog”. The main concept that Brian Tracy puts forward is that if we do the worst thing on ‘our plate’ first thing in the morning (he equates it to the frog), the rest of the day would be much better for us.
Let me explain further. He says that we can be so much more efficient if we have a ‘Things to Do’ list every morning. Most importantly, he says that we should tackle the most difficult and most stressful task first (his concept of ‘eating the frog’). As he says "If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a ‘frog’, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long!" Your "frog" is usually the one task that you are most likely to procrastinate on, because it is a difficult or stressful task! However, it may also be the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your day at the office.
And if you have two frogs, Brian Tracy says, "Eat the ugliest one first!" This is another way of saying that if you have two important tasks, start with the hardest, and most important task first. Discipline yourself to begin immediately and then to persist until the task is complete before you go on to something else.
Sound advice indeed! The question is "Have your eaten the frog today"?
Let me explain further. He says that we can be so much more efficient if we have a ‘Things to Do’ list every morning. Most importantly, he says that we should tackle the most difficult and most stressful task first (his concept of ‘eating the frog’). As he says "If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a ‘frog’, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long!" Your "frog" is usually the one task that you are most likely to procrastinate on, because it is a difficult or stressful task! However, it may also be the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your day at the office.
And if you have two frogs, Brian Tracy says, "Eat the ugliest one first!" This is another way of saying that if you have two important tasks, start with the hardest, and most important task first. Discipline yourself to begin immediately and then to persist until the task is complete before you go on to something else.
Sound advice indeed! The question is "Have your eaten the frog today"?
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Lead right !
Make sure they have the “tools” they need.
Imagine this scenario: We’re out in the middle of a field. I’m the supervisor and I give you an assignment to dig a trench. After explaining why the trench is necessary, I give you the go-ahead to start digging. You immediately inquire, “Where’s the back hoe?” I respond, “It’s in the shop.” You then ask, “So how am I supposed to dig this trench?” I hand you a shovel, and then I leave. I return two hours later and find that you haven’t made much progress. You’re tired and frustrated … and I’m ticked off.
A far-fetched story? Maybe so! But it does make a simple and important point: it’s tough for people to do a good job – to do their best work – when they don’t have the “tools” (resources) they need. That’s something your team members may be facing more often than you think. And as a leader, you need to do your best to do something about it.
Ask yourself, What do my people need in order to meet or exceed my expectations? Better yet, ASK THEM! Maybe it’s a new piece of equipment – or the fixing/updating of an existing one. Perhaps it’s a new software program, additional training, or an expanded supplies inventory. Or it could be that what they really need is more time, more help, or more information.
Whatever your team needs, get it for them. And if you can’t, tell them why, look for other ways to support their efforts, and appreciate the fact that many of their achievements are happening in spite of how they are equipped rather than because of it.
Imagine this scenario: We’re out in the middle of a field. I’m the supervisor and I give you an assignment to dig a trench. After explaining why the trench is necessary, I give you the go-ahead to start digging. You immediately inquire, “Where’s the back hoe?” I respond, “It’s in the shop.” You then ask, “So how am I supposed to dig this trench?” I hand you a shovel, and then I leave. I return two hours later and find that you haven’t made much progress. You’re tired and frustrated … and I’m ticked off.
A far-fetched story? Maybe so! But it does make a simple and important point: it’s tough for people to do a good job – to do their best work – when they don’t have the “tools” (resources) they need. That’s something your team members may be facing more often than you think. And as a leader, you need to do your best to do something about it.
Ask yourself, What do my people need in order to meet or exceed my expectations? Better yet, ASK THEM! Maybe it’s a new piece of equipment – or the fixing/updating of an existing one. Perhaps it’s a new software program, additional training, or an expanded supplies inventory. Or it could be that what they really need is more time, more help, or more information.
Whatever your team needs, get it for them. And if you can’t, tell them why, look for other ways to support their efforts, and appreciate the fact that many of their achievements are happening in spite of how they are equipped rather than because of it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Ways to Get More Done in Less Time
Categorize your TO DO list into A, B, and C priorities. “A” priorities are the activities that are critical to your success. “B” priorities are important but not critical. “C” priorities would be nice to do if you get the time. Begin with your “A” priorities and work your way down to the “nice to do” items.
“Perfection paralysis” is expensive. Sometimes it is not worth the effort to make things “perfect.” Take a look at the time costs involved and weigh these against the benefits of perfection. Often, second best in operation is better than first best still on the drawing board.
Never say “yes” without considering the time investment you are committing to. Having the courage to (tactfully) say “no” to requests that are inappropriate or unnecessary could be your most effective time management tool!
Tempted to constantly check your e-mails? Don’t do it! Once or twice daily is usually enough. E-mails can be a habitual distraction – include them in your work schedule but don’t let them control your day.
Make sure every meeting you call is absolutely necessary. Routine meetings are not a good investment unless they fulfill, or move forward, your objective.
Want to make a positive difference in others’ time management? Ask your peers and subordinates, “What do I do that wastes your time and hinders your performance?” Then, make a sincere effort to STOP doing those things!
“Perfection paralysis” is expensive. Sometimes it is not worth the effort to make things “perfect.” Take a look at the time costs involved and weigh these against the benefits of perfection. Often, second best in operation is better than first best still on the drawing board.
Never say “yes” without considering the time investment you are committing to. Having the courage to (tactfully) say “no” to requests that are inappropriate or unnecessary could be your most effective time management tool!
Tempted to constantly check your e-mails? Don’t do it! Once or twice daily is usually enough. E-mails can be a habitual distraction – include them in your work schedule but don’t let them control your day.
Make sure every meeting you call is absolutely necessary. Routine meetings are not a good investment unless they fulfill, or move forward, your objective.
Want to make a positive difference in others’ time management? Ask your peers and subordinates, “What do I do that wastes your time and hinders your performance?” Then, make a sincere effort to STOP doing those things!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Even Eagles Need a Push
Excerpted from Even Eagles Need a PushFrom the chapter titled A Life-Changing Experience by Gail Pursell Elliott
We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them. A look, a word, a gesture has a tremendous impact and frequently we blither along blind to the effect every communication wields.
I learned this in a powerful way: It was a rainy, humid day: the mother of all bad hair days. I was riding on a bus downtown to go to work. Everyone was wilting. I was sitting next to a man in a business suit and didn’t pay him much attention until we both got off at the same stop and walked to the same newsstand to get a morning paper.
The man running the stand was obviously among those having a bad day. He was rude, abrupt and unsmiling as we purchased our papers, which served to add only more gloom to my day. The businessman caught my eye and smiled. He then proceeded to smile even more brightly, thank the newsstand proprietor for the paper and for being open on such a morning to make sure we were able to get our papers. In short he expressed his appreciation for something most of us would take for granted.
The man running the newsstand responded only with a grunt and a sour expression. The businessman then pleasantly wished him a pleasant day. As we turned away, I asked this man why he had continued to be pleasant to the newsman when he obviously didn’t care about and didn’t respond to his expression of appreciation and friendliness. The businessman grinned at me and said, “Why would I let someone else control what I say and what I feel or what kind of day I’m going to have?”
I never saw the businessman again, even though I looked for him on the bus on other days. He appeared briefly in my life and disappeared just as quickly. I don’t even remember what he looked like. But I’ve never forgotten the words he said, or the way his smile seemed like a shaft of light on a gloomy day.
That was a good 25 years ago, but the impact this had on my life has lasted. I never had a chance to thank him personally, but the way in which I choose to look at life as a result of those words is his legacy to me and my thanks to him.
Our interactions with the people we encounter can impact at least the next five people they encounter. A smile and words of simple appreciation multiply themselves geometrically.
We cannot control people and situations that come to us, but we can always control our responses to them. In each of our decisions lies our power to make a positive difference. It’s something anyone and everyone can do.
Copyright Simple Truths, LLC, all rights reserved and reprinted with permission.
We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them. A look, a word, a gesture has a tremendous impact and frequently we blither along blind to the effect every communication wields.
I learned this in a powerful way: It was a rainy, humid day: the mother of all bad hair days. I was riding on a bus downtown to go to work. Everyone was wilting. I was sitting next to a man in a business suit and didn’t pay him much attention until we both got off at the same stop and walked to the same newsstand to get a morning paper.
The man running the stand was obviously among those having a bad day. He was rude, abrupt and unsmiling as we purchased our papers, which served to add only more gloom to my day. The businessman caught my eye and smiled. He then proceeded to smile even more brightly, thank the newsstand proprietor for the paper and for being open on such a morning to make sure we were able to get our papers. In short he expressed his appreciation for something most of us would take for granted.
The man running the newsstand responded only with a grunt and a sour expression. The businessman then pleasantly wished him a pleasant day. As we turned away, I asked this man why he had continued to be pleasant to the newsman when he obviously didn’t care about and didn’t respond to his expression of appreciation and friendliness. The businessman grinned at me and said, “Why would I let someone else control what I say and what I feel or what kind of day I’m going to have?”
I never saw the businessman again, even though I looked for him on the bus on other days. He appeared briefly in my life and disappeared just as quickly. I don’t even remember what he looked like. But I’ve never forgotten the words he said, or the way his smile seemed like a shaft of light on a gloomy day.
That was a good 25 years ago, but the impact this had on my life has lasted. I never had a chance to thank him personally, but the way in which I choose to look at life as a result of those words is his legacy to me and my thanks to him.
Our interactions with the people we encounter can impact at least the next five people they encounter. A smile and words of simple appreciation multiply themselves geometrically.
We cannot control people and situations that come to us, but we can always control our responses to them. In each of our decisions lies our power to make a positive difference. It’s something anyone and everyone can do.
Copyright Simple Truths, LLC, all rights reserved and reprinted with permission.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
POWER OF ATTITUDE
Excerpted from The Power of Attitude
I grew up in Trenton, a west Tennessee town of five thousand people. I have wonderful memories of those first eighteen years, and many people in Trenton influenced my life in very positive ways. My football coach, Walter Kilzer, taught me the importance of hard work, discipline, and believing in myself. My history teacher, Fred Culp, is still the funniest person I’ve ever met. He taught me that a sense of humor, and especially laughing at yourself, can be one of life’s greatest blessings.
But my father was my hero. He taught me many things, but at the top of the list, he taught me to treat people with love and respect…to live the Golden Rule. I remember one particular instance of him teaching this “life lesson” as if it were yesterday. Dad owned a furniture store, and I used to dust the furniture every Wednesday after school to earn my allowance. One afternoon I observed my Dad talking to all the customers as they came in…the hardware store owner, the banker, a farmer, a doctor. At the end of the day, just as Dad was closing, the garbage collector came in.
I was ready to go home, and I thought that surely Dad wouldn’t spend too much time with him. But I was wrong. Dad greeted him at the door with a big hug and talked with him about his wife and son who had been in a car accident the month before. He empathized, he asked questions, he listened, and he listened some more. I kept looking at the clock, and when the man finally left, I asked, “Dad, why did you spend so much time with him? He’s just the garbage collector.” Dad then looked at me, locked the front door to the store, and said, “Son, let’s talk.”
He said, “I’m your father and I tell you lots of stuff as all fathers should, but if you remember nothing else I ever tell you, remember this…treat every human being just the way that you would want to be treated.” He said, “I know this is not the first time you’ve heard it, but I want to make sure it’s the first time you truly understand it, because if you had understood, you would never have said what you said.” We sat there and talked for another hour about the meaning and the power of the Golden Rule. Dad said, “If you live the Golden Rule everything else in life will usually work itself out, but if you don’t your life probably will be very unhappy and without meaning.”
I recently heard someone say, “If you teach your child the Golden Rule, you will have left them an estate of incalculable value.” Truer words were never spoken.
I grew up in Trenton, a west Tennessee town of five thousand people. I have wonderful memories of those first eighteen years, and many people in Trenton influenced my life in very positive ways. My football coach, Walter Kilzer, taught me the importance of hard work, discipline, and believing in myself. My history teacher, Fred Culp, is still the funniest person I’ve ever met. He taught me that a sense of humor, and especially laughing at yourself, can be one of life’s greatest blessings.
But my father was my hero. He taught me many things, but at the top of the list, he taught me to treat people with love and respect…to live the Golden Rule. I remember one particular instance of him teaching this “life lesson” as if it were yesterday. Dad owned a furniture store, and I used to dust the furniture every Wednesday after school to earn my allowance. One afternoon I observed my Dad talking to all the customers as they came in…the hardware store owner, the banker, a farmer, a doctor. At the end of the day, just as Dad was closing, the garbage collector came in.
I was ready to go home, and I thought that surely Dad wouldn’t spend too much time with him. But I was wrong. Dad greeted him at the door with a big hug and talked with him about his wife and son who had been in a car accident the month before. He empathized, he asked questions, he listened, and he listened some more. I kept looking at the clock, and when the man finally left, I asked, “Dad, why did you spend so much time with him? He’s just the garbage collector.” Dad then looked at me, locked the front door to the store, and said, “Son, let’s talk.”
He said, “I’m your father and I tell you lots of stuff as all fathers should, but if you remember nothing else I ever tell you, remember this…treat every human being just the way that you would want to be treated.” He said, “I know this is not the first time you’ve heard it, but I want to make sure it’s the first time you truly understand it, because if you had understood, you would never have said what you said.” We sat there and talked for another hour about the meaning and the power of the Golden Rule. Dad said, “If you live the Golden Rule everything else in life will usually work itself out, but if you don’t your life probably will be very unhappy and without meaning.”
I recently heard someone say, “If you teach your child the Golden Rule, you will have left them an estate of incalculable value.” Truer words were never spoken.
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