Honoring your unique self in life gives you an edge. Uncovering the real truth about your personal style and your preferences allows you to create a lifestyle that’s in alignment with who you really are – not the person someone else urged you to be. Part of your subtraction process needs to be deleting other people’s expectations and agendas for your life. By subtracting their scripts for you, you can write your own screenplay, choosing every detail, including only additions that you love. Carefully evaluate which life choices nourish you and which ones deplete your sense of well-being. Those insights are the gems from which you craft your original life episodes.
Inquiry: Are you following someone else’s casting call? Are you an artist at heart dressed up in a suit? Or a country soul living in a high-rise studio apartment? Have you made lifestyle choices because you were supposed to? What parts of yourself are you not honoring? Release your attachment to other people’s approval and set yourself free to select only the Positive Choices that are best for you
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
I used to worry. A lot. The more I fretted, the more proficient I became at it. Anxiety begets anxiety. I even worried that I worried too much! Ulcers might develop. My health could fail. My finances could deplete to pay the hospital bills.
A comedian once said, "I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices." While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault!
To get some perspective, I visited a well known, businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, "Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry."
As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn't admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone-even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier!
"I decided that I would wait to worry!" he explained. "I decided that I'd wait until I actually had a reason to worry-something that was happening, not just something that might happen-before I worried."
"When I'm tempted to get alarmed," he confided, "I tell myself, 'Fred, you've got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don't worry.' And I don't. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry."
Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. "I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs," he said, "because most people can't remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry - you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient - only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true."
Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."
Most of us want to be positive. It's advantageous to possess a sunny outlook. Doors open to optimists. They make friends, earn respect, close sales, produce loyal clients, and others enjoy and want to be like them. The question is how can we do that consistently?
That's what Attitude is Everything i
A comedian once said, "I tried to drown my worries with gin, but my worries are equipped with flotation devices." While not a drinker, I certainly could identify! My worries could swim, jump and pole vault!
To get some perspective, I visited a well known, businessman, Fred Smith. Fred mentored such luminaries as motivational whiz Zig Ziglar, business guru Ken Blanchard and leadership expert John Maxwell. Fred listened as I poured out my concerns and then said, "Vicki, you need to learn to wait to worry."
As the words sank in, I asked Fred if he ever spent time fretting. (I was quite certain he wouldn't admit it if he did. He was pretty full of testosterone-even at age 90.) To my surprise, he confessed that in years gone by he had been a top-notch worrier!
"I decided that I would wait to worry!" he explained. "I decided that I'd wait until I actually had a reason to worry-something that was happening, not just something that might happen-before I worried."
"When I'm tempted to get alarmed," he confided, "I tell myself, 'Fred, you've got to wait to worry! Until you know differently, don't worry.' And I don't. Waiting to worry helps me develop the habit of not worrying and that helps me not be tempted to worry."
Fred possessed a quick mind and a gift for gab. As such, he became a captivating public speaker. "I frequently ask audiences what they were worried about this time last year. I get a lot of laughs," he said, "because most people can't remember. Then I ask if they have a current worry - you see nods from everybody. Then I remind them that the average worrier is 92% inefficient - only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true."
Charles Spurgeon said it best. "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."
Most of us want to be positive. It's advantageous to possess a sunny outlook. Doors open to optimists. They make friends, earn respect, close sales, produce loyal clients, and others enjoy and want to be like them. The question is how can we do that consistently?
That's what Attitude is Everything i
Friday, September 17, 2010
Build your dream team
“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people
to attain uncommon results.”
~Andrew Carnegie
to attain uncommon results.”
~Andrew Carnegie
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A Life-Changing Experience
We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them. A look, a word, a gesture has a tremendous impact and frequently we blither along blind to the effect every communication wields.
I learned this in a powerful way: It was a rainy, humid day: the mother of all bad hair days. I was riding on a bus downtown to go to work. Everyone was wilting. I was sitting next to a man in a business suit and didn’t pay him much attention until we both got off at the same stop and walked to the same newsstand to get a morning paper.
The man running the stand was obviously among those having a bad day. He was rude, abrupt and unsmiling as we purchased our papers, which served to add only more gloom to my day. The businessman caught my eye and smiled. He then proceeded to smile even more brightly, thank the newsstand proprietor for the paper and for being open on such a morning to make sure we were able to get our papers. In short he expressed his appreciation for something most of us would take for granted.
The man running the newsstand responded only with a grunt and a sour expression. The businessman then pleasantly wished him a pleasant day. As we turned away, I asked this man why he had continued to be pleasant to the newsman when he obviously didn’t care about and didn’t respond to his expression of appreciation and friendliness. The businessman grinned at me and said, “Why would I let someone else control what I say and what I feel or what kind of day I’m going to have?”
I never saw the businessman again, even though I looked for him on the bus on other days. He appeared briefly in my life and disappeared just as quickly. I don’t even remember what he looked like. But I’ve never forgotten the words he said, or the way his smile seemed like a shaft of light on a gloomy day.
That was a good 25 years ago, but the impact this had on my life has lasted. I never had a chance to thank him personally, but the way in which I choose to look at life as a result of those words is his legacy to me and my thanks to him.
Our interactions with the people we encounter can impact at least the next five people they encounter. A smile and words of simple appreciation multiply themselves geometrically.
We cannot control people and situations that come to us, but we can always control our responses to them. In each of our decisions lies our power to make a positive difference. It’s something anyone and everyone can do.
I learned this in a powerful way: It was a rainy, humid day: the mother of all bad hair days. I was riding on a bus downtown to go to work. Everyone was wilting. I was sitting next to a man in a business suit and didn’t pay him much attention until we both got off at the same stop and walked to the same newsstand to get a morning paper.
The man running the stand was obviously among those having a bad day. He was rude, abrupt and unsmiling as we purchased our papers, which served to add only more gloom to my day. The businessman caught my eye and smiled. He then proceeded to smile even more brightly, thank the newsstand proprietor for the paper and for being open on such a morning to make sure we were able to get our papers. In short he expressed his appreciation for something most of us would take for granted.
The man running the newsstand responded only with a grunt and a sour expression. The businessman then pleasantly wished him a pleasant day. As we turned away, I asked this man why he had continued to be pleasant to the newsman when he obviously didn’t care about and didn’t respond to his expression of appreciation and friendliness. The businessman grinned at me and said, “Why would I let someone else control what I say and what I feel or what kind of day I’m going to have?”
I never saw the businessman again, even though I looked for him on the bus on other days. He appeared briefly in my life and disappeared just as quickly. I don’t even remember what he looked like. But I’ve never forgotten the words he said, or the way his smile seemed like a shaft of light on a gloomy day.
That was a good 25 years ago, but the impact this had on my life has lasted. I never had a chance to thank him personally, but the way in which I choose to look at life as a result of those words is his legacy to me and my thanks to him.
Our interactions with the people we encounter can impact at least the next five people they encounter. A smile and words of simple appreciation multiply themselves geometrically.
We cannot control people and situations that come to us, but we can always control our responses to them. In each of our decisions lies our power to make a positive difference. It’s something anyone and everyone can do.
Turning Mediocrity into Greatness
I have had the privilege of competing against, coaching, being coached by and observing world-class performers since I was six years old. As a junior tennis player competing throughout the United States from ages 7 - 18, I became fascinated with what it takes to become a champion. My dream was to be ranked among the Top 10 players in the world, but I fell short. At my best, I hovered around the Top 500 in the world, and that's as high as I could seem to reach. Deep down, I knew I had the talent to make my dream a reality, and I knew the missing link was mental. After I hung up my racquet for the last time, I became obsessed with uncovering the mental toughness secrets of champions.
Starting in 1984, I spent every free moment conducting interviews with champions, reading their books and studying everything I could get my hands on about the psychology of peak performance. My friends said I was obsessed. They were right. This book is the result of my 20-year obsession.
When I started to implement the ideas in this book, my whole life changed. It wasn't overnight, but sometimes it seemed like it. There's no magic here, just practical thought processes, habits and philosophies drawn from the greatest performers in the world.
This book contains no theories. Every secret comes straight from the street of experience, either my own or that of our clients. This book is loaded with ideas you can implement immediately. Some will be familiar and some new. All of them have the power to catapult your results, no matter how high you're flying. It's been said that speakers and writers espouse wisdom on the very topic they need most. Now that you know my story, you know this is true for me. After 20 years of studying and teaching mental toughness to people throughout the United States, Canada and 10 other countries, I can honestly tell you that many times I still think like a complete amateur, operating out of the same middle-class consciousness that I ridicule in this book. After all these years, my mental toughness growth is still a work in progress.
The good news is that mental toughness is a skill that can be learned, and the tougher you get, the bigger you'll dream and the more fun you'll have.
Starting in 1984, I spent every free moment conducting interviews with champions, reading their books and studying everything I could get my hands on about the psychology of peak performance. My friends said I was obsessed. They were right. This book is the result of my 20-year obsession.
When I started to implement the ideas in this book, my whole life changed. It wasn't overnight, but sometimes it seemed like it. There's no magic here, just practical thought processes, habits and philosophies drawn from the greatest performers in the world.
This book contains no theories. Every secret comes straight from the street of experience, either my own or that of our clients. This book is loaded with ideas you can implement immediately. Some will be familiar and some new. All of them have the power to catapult your results, no matter how high you're flying. It's been said that speakers and writers espouse wisdom on the very topic they need most. Now that you know my story, you know this is true for me. After 20 years of studying and teaching mental toughness to people throughout the United States, Canada and 10 other countries, I can honestly tell you that many times I still think like a complete amateur, operating out of the same middle-class consciousness that I ridicule in this book. After all these years, my mental toughness growth is still a work in progress.
The good news is that mental toughness is a skill that can be learned, and the tougher you get, the bigger you'll dream and the more fun you'll have.
Monday, September 6, 2010
ah-ha"
Reading has been the fuel of my motivation, it has changed the direction in which I have traveled, and it has enhanced my creative imagination more than any other activity I have ever pursued. I'm now in my eighth decade of living and I still read several hours a day. Why? When I can hook up old information with new information the combination of the two creates perspectives that could never have been achieved otherwise. New information makes new and fresh ideas possible.
I read for the "ah-ha's," the information that makes a light bulb go off in my mind. I want to put information in my mind that is going to be the most beneficial to me, my family and my fellow man, financially, morally, spiritually, and emotionally. I seldom read anything that is not of a factual nature because I want to invest my time wisely in the things that will improve my life. Don't misunderstand; there is nothing wrong with reading purely for the joy of it. Novels have their place, but biographies of famous men and women contain information that can change lives. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale's, "The Power of Positive Thinking" changed my thinking. The Bible changed my believing. Ultimately, what I have read has changed my being.
If the "ah-ha" I get when I'm reading is not already reduced into one or two sentences, I'll take the essence of what I've read and chunk it into easily remembered bites of information. That information is what becomes "quotable." You would not sit still for me to read every book I've ever read to you. But if you're the least bit like me, you'll jump at the chance to bypass all the churning and scoop the cream right off the top - that is what quotes are...the cream of our learning.
The right quote can inspire people to change their ways. I love to quote my mother, "Tell the truth and tell it ever, costeth what it will; for he who hides the wrong he did, does the wrong thing still." Of course this quote didn't begin with my mother, but she is the first person who said it to me. Quotes, good quotes, are like that - you remember who said it, what the circumstances were, and that it had an immediate impact on your thinking.
I've compiled the quotes in this book with great care. I've included quotes that will help you on the work front, the home front, and the spiritual front. There are quotes to lift you up and quotes to bring you back to earth. Some will make you smile and some will create more questions than you might care to think about. All of them will make you think and that is an exercise in your present that will enhance and improve your future immensely.
It is my hope that you "get" the "ah-ha's" I got when I first read or wrote the quotes I've selected for this inspirational book.
If you apply what you learn to your life, I can honestly say that I will See You at the Top!
I read for the "ah-ha's," the information that makes a light bulb go off in my mind. I want to put information in my mind that is going to be the most beneficial to me, my family and my fellow man, financially, morally, spiritually, and emotionally. I seldom read anything that is not of a factual nature because I want to invest my time wisely in the things that will improve my life. Don't misunderstand; there is nothing wrong with reading purely for the joy of it. Novels have their place, but biographies of famous men and women contain information that can change lives. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale's, "The Power of Positive Thinking" changed my thinking. The Bible changed my believing. Ultimately, what I have read has changed my being.
If the "ah-ha" I get when I'm reading is not already reduced into one or two sentences, I'll take the essence of what I've read and chunk it into easily remembered bites of information. That information is what becomes "quotable." You would not sit still for me to read every book I've ever read to you. But if you're the least bit like me, you'll jump at the chance to bypass all the churning and scoop the cream right off the top - that is what quotes are...the cream of our learning.
The right quote can inspire people to change their ways. I love to quote my mother, "Tell the truth and tell it ever, costeth what it will; for he who hides the wrong he did, does the wrong thing still." Of course this quote didn't begin with my mother, but she is the first person who said it to me. Quotes, good quotes, are like that - you remember who said it, what the circumstances were, and that it had an immediate impact on your thinking.
I've compiled the quotes in this book with great care. I've included quotes that will help you on the work front, the home front, and the spiritual front. There are quotes to lift you up and quotes to bring you back to earth. Some will make you smile and some will create more questions than you might care to think about. All of them will make you think and that is an exercise in your present that will enhance and improve your future immensely.
It is my hope that you "get" the "ah-ha's" I got when I first read or wrote the quotes I've selected for this inspirational book.
If you apply what you learn to your life, I can honestly say that I will See You at the Top!
Charging your battery
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday morning. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.
"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital," he continued; "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.
Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.
Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.
It was nice to meet you Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 year old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.
"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital," he continued; "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.
Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.
Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.
It was nice to meet you Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 year old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."
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