"Man's greatness lies in his power of thought.
"Blaise Pascal
The old axiom ‘what you see is what you get’ couldn’t be more appropriate when it comes to scripting your life. Unbeknownst to many, the way we ‘see’ life and the manner in which we approach each day sets the tempo for each of our twenty four hours on earth.
If you wake up seeing life as a humdrum, ho-hum yawner hardly worth living, then life will inevitably dish out a snoozer of a loser day for you. On the other hand, if you jump out of bed every morning raring to go, full of excitement and energized from head to toe, you can set yourself and the world around you on fire.
Telling yourself that this kind of excitement isn’t in the cards or is just phony boloney is hurting no one but yourself and your loved ones. You can get excited, energized and enthused about every single day of your life - if you truly want to do so. And why in the world wouldn’t you want to do so?
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Keep going with faith
"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation."
Elton Trueblood
Living a life without reservations is never as easy as we wish it could be. Letting go of the doubts, uncertainties and fears that haunt us and hold us back becomes doubly difficult whenever we hit those inevitable bumps in the road that we all encounter from time to time.
At these very moments, when everything outside of us tells us to give up or give in, we must listen closely to what we hear from within. It’s that invincible voice of inner courage and strength that tells us to keep the faith - and keep working towards the attainment of our goals.
Unlike those swanky five star restaurants where having a reservation is an absolute must if you are going to be seated at dinner time; having any type of reservation in life can spell big time trouble. In our most trying of times, when we begin loosing our grip on faith, we need to hold on and keep hanging in there until the skies clear once again. And clear they will if you will just keep the faith - in yourself and your God given abilities.
Elton Trueblood
Living a life without reservations is never as easy as we wish it could be. Letting go of the doubts, uncertainties and fears that haunt us and hold us back becomes doubly difficult whenever we hit those inevitable bumps in the road that we all encounter from time to time.
At these very moments, when everything outside of us tells us to give up or give in, we must listen closely to what we hear from within. It’s that invincible voice of inner courage and strength that tells us to keep the faith - and keep working towards the attainment of our goals.
Unlike those swanky five star restaurants where having a reservation is an absolute must if you are going to be seated at dinner time; having any type of reservation in life can spell big time trouble. In our most trying of times, when we begin loosing our grip on faith, we need to hold on and keep hanging in there until the skies clear once again. And clear they will if you will just keep the faith - in yourself and your God given abilities.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Building Self Confidence In the Workplace
We secretly admire the doctor who treats us for our many illnesses. He seems so sure of himself and is such a miracle because he can cure us of our tummy aches, influenzas and the occasional runny nose. There is a reason why we are so drawn to him and are able to connect with him. He has what we call "self confidence".
Confidence is a vital aspect of our day-to-day lives and is especially important in the workplace. After all, you would not be appreciative of a colleague who fumbles and trips over his words while doing a presentation. Unfortunately, not everyone was born with "built-in" self confidence.
In fact, many of us had to work hard to achieve some semblance of confidence. People with low confidence and self-esteem often feel unappreciated and find it hard to succeed. The good thing is that it can be achieved with time and effort. Rome was not built in a day, so don't expect the same for yourself and do not push yourself to the limit.
You can easily distinguish a self-confident person from others. They stand tall and proud with their head held high and answer questions clearly but calmly. You will feel instinctively drawn to them because they inspire others around them. This automatically concludes that a self-confident person is often more successful than those who are not.
How confident are you to your colleagues? Take a breather and answer some of these questions to see if you need a crash course in building your confidence.
Do you always behave like how others expect you to?
Do you manage your behaviour based on what other people think?
Do you prefer to stay in your comfort zone and avoid taking up risks and challenging tasks?
Do you often find yourself scrambling to fix mistakes so that other people won't notice?
Do you feel yourself blushing in shame every time someone points out your mistakes?
If you answered "yes" to two or more of the above questions, then it's time you fix this. A person with low self-confidence is often self-destructive. Confidence is a mixture of courage, strength and the ability to pick yourself up when something fails.
Take pride in what you have achieved Keep a log book or a diary and jot down all the achievements you have made. Perhaps you have closed a successful sales deal or have been recently promoted. Take note of praises and words of encouragement from your superior. For days when you feel down and demoted, flip through the pages and re-read some of your successes. They are a constant reminder that you can do it and are able to achieve more if you set your heart to it.
Be a go-getter Set realistic goals for yourself and stick to it. Say "I will complete this project in a fortnight" and not "I think I can complete it in a fortnight". If you make a strong reinforcement to the statement, chances are your brain will register and you will be able to meet the deadline.
Also, try to set goals that will highlight your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Receive a compliment graciously It is a natural instinct for Asians to be overly humble when someone compliments them. Don't be. Acknowledge that you deserve the compliment because you have worked hard for it. Smile and say "Thank you. It was really nice of you to notice my work. I'm very proud of it as well" and not "Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could have done it." The former shows that you are capable of handling tough projects while the latter says that you are a pessimist, plus it also gives the impression that your job is an easy-peasy one!
Positive self-talk At this point, you have to start managing what goes in and out of your brain. Yes, you might have had a terrible experience at your last job and it has sucked out all of your self esteem and confidence. It is now time to let go and move on. Eliminate all negative self-talk and replace them with positive ones.
One good tip that I've learnt is to stick colourful pictures on your wall, in your car, or any other places that are convenient to you. Stick a smiley face to remind you to smile. Put phrases of encouragement and frame them up. Celebrate Last but not least, celebrate to rejoice in the fact you have worked diligently to bring your self- confidence to another level. Allow yourself some fun. After this, stretch yourself a little bit more. Make your goals bigger and challenge yourself more. Take it one step at a time at a pace that's comfortable to you.
Some people take three months; others may take up to six months or more. You will slowly notice a difference in yourself.
Confidence is a vital aspect of our day-to-day lives and is especially important in the workplace. After all, you would not be appreciative of a colleague who fumbles and trips over his words while doing a presentation. Unfortunately, not everyone was born with "built-in" self confidence.
In fact, many of us had to work hard to achieve some semblance of confidence. People with low confidence and self-esteem often feel unappreciated and find it hard to succeed. The good thing is that it can be achieved with time and effort. Rome was not built in a day, so don't expect the same for yourself and do not push yourself to the limit.
You can easily distinguish a self-confident person from others. They stand tall and proud with their head held high and answer questions clearly but calmly. You will feel instinctively drawn to them because they inspire others around them. This automatically concludes that a self-confident person is often more successful than those who are not.
How confident are you to your colleagues? Take a breather and answer some of these questions to see if you need a crash course in building your confidence.
Do you always behave like how others expect you to?
Do you manage your behaviour based on what other people think?
Do you prefer to stay in your comfort zone and avoid taking up risks and challenging tasks?
Do you often find yourself scrambling to fix mistakes so that other people won't notice?
Do you feel yourself blushing in shame every time someone points out your mistakes?
If you answered "yes" to two or more of the above questions, then it's time you fix this. A person with low self-confidence is often self-destructive. Confidence is a mixture of courage, strength and the ability to pick yourself up when something fails.
Take pride in what you have achieved Keep a log book or a diary and jot down all the achievements you have made. Perhaps you have closed a successful sales deal or have been recently promoted. Take note of praises and words of encouragement from your superior. For days when you feel down and demoted, flip through the pages and re-read some of your successes. They are a constant reminder that you can do it and are able to achieve more if you set your heart to it.
Be a go-getter Set realistic goals for yourself and stick to it. Say "I will complete this project in a fortnight" and not "I think I can complete it in a fortnight". If you make a strong reinforcement to the statement, chances are your brain will register and you will be able to meet the deadline.
Also, try to set goals that will highlight your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Receive a compliment graciously It is a natural instinct for Asians to be overly humble when someone compliments them. Don't be. Acknowledge that you deserve the compliment because you have worked hard for it. Smile and say "Thank you. It was really nice of you to notice my work. I'm very proud of it as well" and not "Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could have done it." The former shows that you are capable of handling tough projects while the latter says that you are a pessimist, plus it also gives the impression that your job is an easy-peasy one!
Positive self-talk At this point, you have to start managing what goes in and out of your brain. Yes, you might have had a terrible experience at your last job and it has sucked out all of your self esteem and confidence. It is now time to let go and move on. Eliminate all negative self-talk and replace them with positive ones.
One good tip that I've learnt is to stick colourful pictures on your wall, in your car, or any other places that are convenient to you. Stick a smiley face to remind you to smile. Put phrases of encouragement and frame them up. Celebrate Last but not least, celebrate to rejoice in the fact you have worked diligently to bring your self- confidence to another level. Allow yourself some fun. After this, stretch yourself a little bit more. Make your goals bigger and challenge yourself more. Take it one step at a time at a pace that's comfortable to you.
Some people take three months; others may take up to six months or more. You will slowly notice a difference in yourself.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Are you willing to pay the price ?
One of the things that Jack Canfield touches on in his book ‘Success Principles’ was the question of, "Are you willing to pay the price?" He asks, "How many of you want to be better parents, better managers, have better health, be a millionaire?" I am most certain most people would say yes, to all that.
However he then asks, "Are you willing to pay the price to achieve those things?" He continued to say that we all generally have good intentions in wanting to be better, but most of us are not willing to pay the price.
For example, to be a better manager, we will have to continuously develop ourselves which means paying a price in terms of money, time, effort, less time with the family etc. How many of us are willing to do this? And yet, just working everyday, without paying the ‘necessary’ price will not necessarily make us better managers. We only do what we have always done a little bit better, and that’s all.
Similarly, all of us want to have better relationships with the people we love, but we usually take them for granted and don’t do what we ‘know’ we should. We don’t want to make that extra effort. We want to pay a ‘small’ price but expect high returns. This definitely does not conform to Life’s success principles.
In life, we will have to accept that whatever we achieve is directly proportional to the effort and sacrifices that we put in, in the first place.
However he then asks, "Are you willing to pay the price to achieve those things?" He continued to say that we all generally have good intentions in wanting to be better, but most of us are not willing to pay the price.
For example, to be a better manager, we will have to continuously develop ourselves which means paying a price in terms of money, time, effort, less time with the family etc. How many of us are willing to do this? And yet, just working everyday, without paying the ‘necessary’ price will not necessarily make us better managers. We only do what we have always done a little bit better, and that’s all.
Similarly, all of us want to have better relationships with the people we love, but we usually take them for granted and don’t do what we ‘know’ we should. We don’t want to make that extra effort. We want to pay a ‘small’ price but expect high returns. This definitely does not conform to Life’s success principles.
In life, we will have to accept that whatever we achieve is directly proportional to the effort and sacrifices that we put in, in the first place.
Monday, December 3, 2007
The seed
A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choosea successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different.He called all the young executives in his company together."It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO," he said. "I have decided to choose one of you.
"The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today - a very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.
"One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him geta pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant andhe felt like a failure. Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach. It was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back."My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO."Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed.Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Here is your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room aseed.I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to metoday. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers."When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!
"Moral:
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
"The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today - a very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.
"One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him geta pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant andhe felt like a failure. Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach. It was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back."My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO."Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed.Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Here is your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room aseed.I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to metoday. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers."When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!
"Moral:
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Certified Hospitality Trainer , AHLA USA
5 days program conducted at Hotel Istana . Group photo of participants with Mr. David Lecter , The Facilitator and VIPs of Stamford College & MAHTEC.
We all await the results of our exam to see if we can finally call ourselves Master Trainers for Hospitality Industry . I personally believe everyone of the above 21 participants will pass and Ms. Meena will break the world record .
Saturday, November 17, 2007
SMART Goals
I encourage you to pick up a pen and a piece of paper and jot down the goals you want to reach. Look at each goal and evaluate it. Make any changes necessary to ensure it meets the criteria for a SMART goals:
S = Specific M = Measurable A = Attainable R = Realistic T = Timely
Specific
Goals should be straightforward and emphasize what you want to happen. Specifics help us to focus our efforts and clearly define what we are going to do.
Specific is the What, Why, and How of the SMART model.
WHAT are you going to do? Use action words such as direct, organize, coordinate, lead, develop, plan, build etc.
WHY is this important to do at this time? What do you want to ultimately accomplish?
HOW are you going to do it? (By...)
Ensure the goals you set is very specific, clear and easy. Instead of setting a goal to lose weight or be healthier, set a specific goal to lose 2cm off your waistline or to walk 5 miles at an aerobically challenging pace.
Measurable
If you can't measure it, you can't manage it. In the broadest sense, the whole goal statement is a measure for the project; if the goal is accomplished, the is a success. However, there are usually several short-term or small measurements that can be built into the goal.
Choose a goal with measurable progress, so you can see the change occur. How will you see when you reach your goal? Be specific! "I want to read 3 chapter books of 100 pages on my own before my birthday" shows the specific target to be measure. "I want to be a good reader" is not as measurable.
Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goals.
Attainable
When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop that attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. Your begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
Goals you set which are too far out of your reach, you probably won't commit to doing. Although you may start with the best of intentions, the knowledge that it's too much for you means your subconscious will keep reminding you of this fact and will stop you from even giving it your best.
A goal needs to stretch you slightly so you feel you can do it and it will need a real commitment from you. For instance, if you aim to lose 20lbs in one week, we all know that isn't achievable. But setting a goal to loose 1lb and when you've achieved that, aiming to lose a further 1lb, will keep it achievable for you.
The feeling of success which this brings helps you to remain motivated.
Realistic
This is not a synonym for "easy." Realistic, in this case, means "do-able." It means that the learning curve is not a vertical slope; that the skills needed to do the work are available; that the project fits with the overall strategy and goals of the organization. A realistic project may push the skills and knowledge of the people working on it but it shouldn't break them.
Devise a plan or a way of getting there which makes the goal realistic. The goal needs to be realistic for you and where you are at the moment. A goal of never again eating sweets, cakes, crisps and chocolate may not be realistic for someone who really enjoys these foods.
For instance, it may be more realistic to set a goal of eating a piece of fruit each day instead of one sweet item. You can then choose to work towards reducing the amount of sweet products gradually as and when this feels realistic for you.
Be sure to set goals that you can attain with some effort! Too difficult and you set the stage for failure, but too low sends the message that you aren't very capable. Set the bar high enough for a satisfying achievement!
Timely
Set a timeframe for the goal: for next week, in three months, by fifth grade. Putting an end point on your goal gives you a clear target to work towards.
If you don't set a time, the commitment is too vague. It tends not to happen because you feel you can start at any time. Without a time limit, there's no urgency to start taking action now.
Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.
Everyone will benefit from goals and objectives if they are SMART. SMART, is the instrument to apply in setting your goals and objectives
S = Specific M = Measurable A = Attainable R = Realistic T = Timely
Specific
Goals should be straightforward and emphasize what you want to happen. Specifics help us to focus our efforts and clearly define what we are going to do.
Specific is the What, Why, and How of the SMART model.
WHAT are you going to do? Use action words such as direct, organize, coordinate, lead, develop, plan, build etc.
WHY is this important to do at this time? What do you want to ultimately accomplish?
HOW are you going to do it? (By...)
Ensure the goals you set is very specific, clear and easy. Instead of setting a goal to lose weight or be healthier, set a specific goal to lose 2cm off your waistline or to walk 5 miles at an aerobically challenging pace.
Measurable
If you can't measure it, you can't manage it. In the broadest sense, the whole goal statement is a measure for the project; if the goal is accomplished, the is a success. However, there are usually several short-term or small measurements that can be built into the goal.
Choose a goal with measurable progress, so you can see the change occur. How will you see when you reach your goal? Be specific! "I want to read 3 chapter books of 100 pages on my own before my birthday" shows the specific target to be measure. "I want to be a good reader" is not as measurable.
Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goals.
Attainable
When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop that attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. Your begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
Goals you set which are too far out of your reach, you probably won't commit to doing. Although you may start with the best of intentions, the knowledge that it's too much for you means your subconscious will keep reminding you of this fact and will stop you from even giving it your best.
A goal needs to stretch you slightly so you feel you can do it and it will need a real commitment from you. For instance, if you aim to lose 20lbs in one week, we all know that isn't achievable. But setting a goal to loose 1lb and when you've achieved that, aiming to lose a further 1lb, will keep it achievable for you.
The feeling of success which this brings helps you to remain motivated.
Realistic
This is not a synonym for "easy." Realistic, in this case, means "do-able." It means that the learning curve is not a vertical slope; that the skills needed to do the work are available; that the project fits with the overall strategy and goals of the organization. A realistic project may push the skills and knowledge of the people working on it but it shouldn't break them.
Devise a plan or a way of getting there which makes the goal realistic. The goal needs to be realistic for you and where you are at the moment. A goal of never again eating sweets, cakes, crisps and chocolate may not be realistic for someone who really enjoys these foods.
For instance, it may be more realistic to set a goal of eating a piece of fruit each day instead of one sweet item. You can then choose to work towards reducing the amount of sweet products gradually as and when this feels realistic for you.
Be sure to set goals that you can attain with some effort! Too difficult and you set the stage for failure, but too low sends the message that you aren't very capable. Set the bar high enough for a satisfying achievement!
Timely
Set a timeframe for the goal: for next week, in three months, by fifth grade. Putting an end point on your goal gives you a clear target to work towards.
If you don't set a time, the commitment is too vague. It tends not to happen because you feel you can start at any time. Without a time limit, there's no urgency to start taking action now.
Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.
Everyone will benefit from goals and objectives if they are SMART. SMART, is the instrument to apply in setting your goals and objectives
Overcoming the fear of failure ; steps 2 - 6
Step Two: Persist. Successful people just don’t give up. They keep trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get the results they want. Unsuccessful people try one thing that doesnt work and then give up. Often people give up when they are on the threshold of succeeding.
Step Three: Dont take failure personally. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesnt mean you are a failure. Because you made a mistake, doesnt mean that you are a failure.
Step Four: Do things differently. If what you are doing isnt working, do something else. There is an old saying, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got." If you're not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. Most people stop doing anything at all, and this guarantees they wont be successful.
Step Five: Don't be so hard on yourself. Hey, if nothing else, you know what doesn't work. Failure is a judgement or evaluation of behavior. Look at failure as an event or a happening, not as a person.
Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn. Think of failure as a learning experience. What did you learn from the experience that will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself or your situation? Ask yourself these questions:
(1) What was the mistake?
(2) Why did it happen?
(3) How could it have been prevented?
(4) How can I do better next time?
Then use what you learned from the experience to do things differently so you get different results next time. Learn from the experience or ignore it.
Step Three: Dont take failure personally. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Although what you do may not give you the result you wanted, it doesnt mean you are a failure. Because you made a mistake, doesnt mean that you are a failure.
Step Four: Do things differently. If what you are doing isnt working, do something else. There is an old saying, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got." If you're not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. Most people stop doing anything at all, and this guarantees they wont be successful.
Step Five: Don't be so hard on yourself. Hey, if nothing else, you know what doesn't work. Failure is a judgement or evaluation of behavior. Look at failure as an event or a happening, not as a person.
Step Six: Treat the experience as an opportunity to learn. Think of failure as a learning experience. What did you learn from the experience that will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself or your situation? Ask yourself these questions:
(1) What was the mistake?
(2) Why did it happen?
(3) How could it have been prevented?
(4) How can I do better next time?
Then use what you learned from the experience to do things differently so you get different results next time. Learn from the experience or ignore it.
Overcoming the fear of failure
Fear of failure is one of the greatest fears people have. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.
The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.
The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal.
Buckminster Fuller wrote, "Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes."
Most people self-limit themselves. Most people do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they are afraid to try—because they are afraid they will fail.
Take these steps to overcome your fear of failure and move yourself forward to getting the result you desire:
Step One: Take action. Bold, decisive action. Do something scary. Fear of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act, act boldly.
Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. You must overcome the inertia by doing something. Dr. Robert Schuller asks, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" What could you achieve? Be brave and just do it. If it doesn’t work out the way you want, then do something else. But DO SOMETHING NOW.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
" Solving Performance Problems "
Why ask for their help?"
Four of the most powerful words in the English language are "I need your help."
Asking for assistance is a great way to fix performance problems. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
Effective leaders realize two things:
1. They don’t have all the answers.
2. They benefit in the long run from asking for help from the people around them.
You’ll build commitment by asking more than telling. By asking for people’s input and help, you gain the cooperation you need to build high performance. And, you demonstrate that you value others’ opinions - a good way to enhance their self-esteem.
More importantly, you’re likely to end up with a better solution than you would by proceeding on your own with no input. Besides that, people support solutions that they feel they had a say in developing.
Four of the most powerful words in the English language are "I need your help."
Asking for assistance is a great way to fix performance problems. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
Effective leaders realize two things:
1. They don’t have all the answers.
2. They benefit in the long run from asking for help from the people around them.
You’ll build commitment by asking more than telling. By asking for people’s input and help, you gain the cooperation you need to build high performance. And, you demonstrate that you value others’ opinions - a good way to enhance their self-esteem.
More importantly, you’re likely to end up with a better solution than you would by proceeding on your own with no input. Besides that, people support solutions that they feel they had a say in developing.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The Essence of Leadership
They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. As a leader, this quote has special significance for me. Being able to touch others through kindness is one of the most important skills that any of us can learn.
I'd like to share a story with you, from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson, that exemplifies the power of kindness.
Excerpted from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson
On March 5, 2003, I turned on Good Morning, America while eating breakfast. Charles Gibson was interviewing General Earl Hailston, the commanding general of Marine Forces Central Command. The general was waiting with his troops just a few miles off the border of Iraq...waiting to go to war. General Hailston is the only general in the armed forces who had enlisted and came up through the ranks, and as he spoke, I was impressed by his humble and caring attitude.
Toward the end of the interview, his answer to a question touched me deeply. When Charles asked him if he had any hobbies outside his work, the general said, "Yes, I love photography, especially taking photos of my men." He shared that while he had been waiting for the past few days he would take photos of his men, and at night he would email the photos with a brief note to their mothers back in the USA. Charles asked if he could see a sample of a letter, and the general walked into his tent, turned on his computer, and read the last letter he had sent. It said:
Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of your son. He is doing great. I also wanted you to know that you did a wonderful job of raising him. You must be very proud. I can certainly tell you that I'm honored to serve with him in the U.S. Marines.
General Earl Hailston
Wow! I had goose bumps as I watched. I then watched Charles randomly interview a few of General Hailston's men. You could feel the genuine love and respect that every one of them had for their leader. You may have heard the quote..."They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Well, here's a man who truly understood what caring and leadership is all about.
I'd like to share a story with you, from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson, that exemplifies the power of kindness.
Excerpted from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson
On March 5, 2003, I turned on Good Morning, America while eating breakfast. Charles Gibson was interviewing General Earl Hailston, the commanding general of Marine Forces Central Command. The general was waiting with his troops just a few miles off the border of Iraq...waiting to go to war. General Hailston is the only general in the armed forces who had enlisted and came up through the ranks, and as he spoke, I was impressed by his humble and caring attitude.
Toward the end of the interview, his answer to a question touched me deeply. When Charles asked him if he had any hobbies outside his work, the general said, "Yes, I love photography, especially taking photos of my men." He shared that while he had been waiting for the past few days he would take photos of his men, and at night he would email the photos with a brief note to their mothers back in the USA. Charles asked if he could see a sample of a letter, and the general walked into his tent, turned on his computer, and read the last letter he had sent. It said:
Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of your son. He is doing great. I also wanted you to know that you did a wonderful job of raising him. You must be very proud. I can certainly tell you that I'm honored to serve with him in the U.S. Marines.
General Earl Hailston
Wow! I had goose bumps as I watched. I then watched Charles randomly interview a few of General Hailston's men. You could feel the genuine love and respect that every one of them had for their leader. You may have heard the quote..."They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Well, here's a man who truly understood what caring and leadership is all about.
The Essence of Leadership
They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. As a leader, this quote has special significance for me. Being able to touch others through kindness is one of the most important skills that any of us can learn.
I'd like to share a story with you, from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson, that exemplifies the power of kindness.
Excerpted from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson
On March 5, 2003, I turned on Good Morning, America while eating breakfast. Charles Gibson was interviewing General Earl Hailston, the commanding general of Marine Forces Central Command. The general was waiting with his troops just a few miles off the border of Iraq...waiting to go to war. General Hailston is the only general in the armed forces who had enlisted and came up through the ranks, and as he spoke, I was impressed by his humble and caring attitude.
Toward the end of the interview, his answer to a question touched me deeply. When Charles asked him if he had any hobbies outside his work, the general said, "Yes, I love photography, especially taking photos of my men." He shared that while he had been waiting for the past few days he would take photos of his men, and at night he would email the photos with a brief note to their mothers back in the USA. Charles asked if he could see a sample of a letter, and the general walked into his tent, turned on his computer, and read the last letter he had sent. It said:
Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of your son. He is doing great. I also wanted you to know that you did a wonderful job of raising him. You must be very proud. I can certainly tell you that I'm honored to serve with him in the U.S. Marines.
General Earl Hailston
Wow! I had goose bumps as I watched. I then watched Charles randomly interview a few of General Hailston's men. You could feel the genuine love and respect that every one of them had for their leader. You may have heard the quote..."They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Well, here's a man who truly understood what caring and leadership is all about.
I'd like to share a story with you, from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson, that exemplifies the power of kindness.
Excerpted from The Essence of Leadership by Mac Anderson
On March 5, 2003, I turned on Good Morning, America while eating breakfast. Charles Gibson was interviewing General Earl Hailston, the commanding general of Marine Forces Central Command. The general was waiting with his troops just a few miles off the border of Iraq...waiting to go to war. General Hailston is the only general in the armed forces who had enlisted and came up through the ranks, and as he spoke, I was impressed by his humble and caring attitude.
Toward the end of the interview, his answer to a question touched me deeply. When Charles asked him if he had any hobbies outside his work, the general said, "Yes, I love photography, especially taking photos of my men." He shared that while he had been waiting for the past few days he would take photos of his men, and at night he would email the photos with a brief note to their mothers back in the USA. Charles asked if he could see a sample of a letter, and the general walked into his tent, turned on his computer, and read the last letter he had sent. It said:
Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of your son. He is doing great. I also wanted you to know that you did a wonderful job of raising him. You must be very proud. I can certainly tell you that I'm honored to serve with him in the U.S. Marines.
General Earl Hailston
Wow! I had goose bumps as I watched. I then watched Charles randomly interview a few of General Hailston's men. You could feel the genuine love and respect that every one of them had for their leader. You may have heard the quote..."They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Well, here's a man who truly understood what caring and leadership is all about.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Discover the Power of Discipline
Discover the Power of Discipline
Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." How true that is! If we make good habits, they invariably make us.
In the fall of 1996, I received a phone call from an unforgettable young man. He introduced himself as Matt Ghaffari, and went on to tell me that a few months earlier he had won the silver medal in Greco-Roman wrestling during the 1996 Summer Olympics. He said he wanted to stop by while he was in Chicago, and I said, "No problem. I'd like to meet you."
A few hours later my receptionist called saying my guest had arrived. I walked to the lobby and there he was...6'4" tall and 286 pounds of solid muscle. He had a huge smile on his face as we walked back to my office.
When we sat down he said, "Mr. Anderson, I've come to thank you because you and your company have made a difference in my life." Then he reached into his left pocket and pulled out a green felt cloth, which he then opened. And there it was, his silver medal. It was beautiful! Then he reached into his right pocket and emptied the contents onto my desk. Amid his change was one of the brass medallions that we had created at Successories® with the words "Expect To Win."
He said, "Mr. Anderson, I've had that medallion in my pocket every day for three years. For the past four years I've worked ten hours a day, six days a week to train my body to be an Olympic champion. But I knew the difference in winning and losing was not going to be training my body; it was going to be training my mind to think positive, powerful thoughts...to believe I could do it. And the products you've created at Successories® have helped me to think like a champion. For the last three years, once a month, I would go into your store in Cleveland and purchase either a book, a tape, a poster, or something to reinforce a positive attitude."
You see, winners like Matt Ghaffari are never complacent. That is why they're winners. They understand the power of discipline. They understand one of my favorite laws in life - you cannot get what you've never had unless you're willing to do what you've never done.
Are you willing to make the sacrifices required to make your dreams come true?
Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." How true that is! If we make good habits, they invariably make us.
In the fall of 1996, I received a phone call from an unforgettable young man. He introduced himself as Matt Ghaffari, and went on to tell me that a few months earlier he had won the silver medal in Greco-Roman wrestling during the 1996 Summer Olympics. He said he wanted to stop by while he was in Chicago, and I said, "No problem. I'd like to meet you."
A few hours later my receptionist called saying my guest had arrived. I walked to the lobby and there he was...6'4" tall and 286 pounds of solid muscle. He had a huge smile on his face as we walked back to my office.
When we sat down he said, "Mr. Anderson, I've come to thank you because you and your company have made a difference in my life." Then he reached into his left pocket and pulled out a green felt cloth, which he then opened. And there it was, his silver medal. It was beautiful! Then he reached into his right pocket and emptied the contents onto my desk. Amid his change was one of the brass medallions that we had created at Successories® with the words "Expect To Win."
He said, "Mr. Anderson, I've had that medallion in my pocket every day for three years. For the past four years I've worked ten hours a day, six days a week to train my body to be an Olympic champion. But I knew the difference in winning and losing was not going to be training my body; it was going to be training my mind to think positive, powerful thoughts...to believe I could do it. And the products you've created at Successories® have helped me to think like a champion. For the last three years, once a month, I would go into your store in Cleveland and purchase either a book, a tape, a poster, or something to reinforce a positive attitude."
You see, winners like Matt Ghaffari are never complacent. That is why they're winners. They understand the power of discipline. They understand one of my favorite laws in life - you cannot get what you've never had unless you're willing to do what you've never done.
Are you willing to make the sacrifices required to make your dreams come true?
Friday, October 12, 2007
Dealing with difficult people
CONFLICT is built into the very fabric of every organisation in today’s changing world. When it is not dealt with well, it can create hostility and sap the time, energy and productivity of even the best relationships.
Conflict can also be a catalyst that sets the stage for changes needed. You will never deal with conflict perfectly, but here are 10 tips worth using in dealing with difficult people on and off the job:
1. Talk to people instead of talking about them
Dealing with conflict directly may be uncomfortable and lead to some disappointment, but it cuts down the mind-reading and resentment that can occur when problems are not dealt with directly. Timing, tact and keeping a distance will always have their place, but make sure you still keep conflict eyeball to eyeball.
2. Do not avoid conflict
People often vacillate between the pain of dealing with unresolved problems and the guilt over not dealing with them. Such indecisiveness saps energy and time; it can affect morale and turnover. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-evader. Problem-solvers learn to deal with conflict as soon as it arises.
3. Develop an effective communication style
Focus on future problem-solving, not past issues. You want change, not just an admission of guilt. Winners of arguments never really win because consistent losers never forget. You want results, not enemies seeking revenge.
4. Deal with issues,not personalities
It is all too easy to abuse the "difficult" party instead of dealing with issues. Be assertive, but acknowledge that others can have different positions, values and priorities. When you personalise disagreements and hit back, you invite escalation.
Keep the focus on mutual problem- solving, not name-calling.
5. Face resistance
Attempts at threatening or silencing criticism will only force resistance underground and increase the chances of sabotaging even necessary changes.
Push for specific suggestions. If criticism is extensive and continues even after you look it in the eye, it may not be resistance - know when to admit that you are wrong.
6. Redefine caring
This includes confronting someone on a timely and consistent basis. Avoid labels that give you excuses for not confronting a problem, for example, so-and-so is too sensitive or too nice, or he is of a certain background or race. If you believe people cannot change or benefit from feedback, you will tend not to confront them. Instead, treat all equally, and be caring enough to be firm, fair and consistent.
7. Avoid forming adverse relationships
In strained or negative relationships, everyone loses. Take seriously the words of Confucius: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
Even the most difficult person usually has some people he works with well. Learn to look for the best even in difficult people.
8. Invest time in building positive bridges
Abraham Lincoln reportedly said: "I don’t like that man. I’m going to have to get to know him better." Look for ways to be sincere. It takes a history of positive contact to build trust. Search for areas of common ground. Even if bridgebuilding does not work, by being a positive bridge builder, you build a reputation everyone will come to respect, even if a few difficult people never respond.
9. Keep your perspective
Even if none of these suggestions work, tell yourself: "This too shall pass!"
Keep evidence of your efforts to build a better relationship. Find ways to work on projects that build new exposure in other areas within your organisation. You may just find a new position with a different team to work with.
With a crazy or brutalising boss or co-worker, you may even have to leave. Always invest 5 per cent of your time in your next career so you are continually developing career choices. You want to stay for the right reasons, not because you are trapped.
10. Spend some time looking in a mirror
Customer service guru Ron Zemke put it well when he said: "If you find that everywhere you go, you’re always surrounded by jerks and you’re constantly being forced to strike back at them or correct their behaviour, guess what? You’re a jerk."
Start by making sure that you are not being difficult yourself.
Conflict can also be a catalyst that sets the stage for changes needed. You will never deal with conflict perfectly, but here are 10 tips worth using in dealing with difficult people on and off the job:
1. Talk to people instead of talking about them
Dealing with conflict directly may be uncomfortable and lead to some disappointment, but it cuts down the mind-reading and resentment that can occur when problems are not dealt with directly. Timing, tact and keeping a distance will always have their place, but make sure you still keep conflict eyeball to eyeball.
2. Do not avoid conflict
People often vacillate between the pain of dealing with unresolved problems and the guilt over not dealing with them. Such indecisiveness saps energy and time; it can affect morale and turnover. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-evader. Problem-solvers learn to deal with conflict as soon as it arises.
3. Develop an effective communication style
Focus on future problem-solving, not past issues. You want change, not just an admission of guilt. Winners of arguments never really win because consistent losers never forget. You want results, not enemies seeking revenge.
4. Deal with issues,not personalities
It is all too easy to abuse the "difficult" party instead of dealing with issues. Be assertive, but acknowledge that others can have different positions, values and priorities. When you personalise disagreements and hit back, you invite escalation.
Keep the focus on mutual problem- solving, not name-calling.
5. Face resistance
Attempts at threatening or silencing criticism will only force resistance underground and increase the chances of sabotaging even necessary changes.
Push for specific suggestions. If criticism is extensive and continues even after you look it in the eye, it may not be resistance - know when to admit that you are wrong.
6. Redefine caring
This includes confronting someone on a timely and consistent basis. Avoid labels that give you excuses for not confronting a problem, for example, so-and-so is too sensitive or too nice, or he is of a certain background or race. If you believe people cannot change or benefit from feedback, you will tend not to confront them. Instead, treat all equally, and be caring enough to be firm, fair and consistent.
7. Avoid forming adverse relationships
In strained or negative relationships, everyone loses. Take seriously the words of Confucius: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
Even the most difficult person usually has some people he works with well. Learn to look for the best even in difficult people.
8. Invest time in building positive bridges
Abraham Lincoln reportedly said: "I don’t like that man. I’m going to have to get to know him better." Look for ways to be sincere. It takes a history of positive contact to build trust. Search for areas of common ground. Even if bridgebuilding does not work, by being a positive bridge builder, you build a reputation everyone will come to respect, even if a few difficult people never respond.
9. Keep your perspective
Even if none of these suggestions work, tell yourself: "This too shall pass!"
Keep evidence of your efforts to build a better relationship. Find ways to work on projects that build new exposure in other areas within your organisation. You may just find a new position with a different team to work with.
With a crazy or brutalising boss or co-worker, you may even have to leave. Always invest 5 per cent of your time in your next career so you are continually developing career choices. You want to stay for the right reasons, not because you are trapped.
10. Spend some time looking in a mirror
Customer service guru Ron Zemke put it well when he said: "If you find that everywhere you go, you’re always surrounded by jerks and you’re constantly being forced to strike back at them or correct their behaviour, guess what? You’re a jerk."
Start by making sure that you are not being difficult yourself.
Monday, October 8, 2007
About setting goals and reaching them
Seven thoughts about reaching goals...
1. Goals reached begin with a desire that burns so deeply and brightly within one's being, that it cannot be put out by the adversities of life.
2. To reach our goals, we must define them clearly. Begin with the intended outcome, and describe it in detail. Write it out.
3. Goals must be visualized clearly. Use mental rehearsal. Imagine taking the actions. See, feel, and imagine the outcome you want as if you had already achieved it. Then, each day, give thanks for reaching your goal.
4. Goals must have a criteria for their attainment. They are time-bound. A goal without a clear criteria for it's attainment is not a goal; it is merely a wish. Time-bound goals inspire motivation toward the goal line, give a sense of urgency, and keep desire burning brightly.
5. Reaching goals requires consistent daily action: stepping forward onto a planned path and making corrections in direction when necessary.
6. Great goals are transcendent; they improve the quality of life for many and support our overall purpose in living, a dimension higher than ourselves. For this reason, we don't need to write a goal in stone. But, should we fall short of the goal line, we get up and write the goal again.
7. Reaching goals is a personal experience that inspires us to be our best. Reaching a goal is not meant to impress others, although it may inspire others. It is an experience of using our unique gifts and talents to the best of our ability. Most of all, believe with all your heart that you will achieve your vision. We define our future by looking ahead.
Zig Ziglar said it well: "The basic goal- reaching principle is to understand that you go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see farther." If you are reaching for a goal, ask yourself: "Am I looking backward or forward? If I am looking forward, how far am I seeing? May you reach all of your most cherished goals, and may your achievements bring benefit and joy to many others throughout the years ahead!
Wishing you blessings and success! :-)
1. Goals reached begin with a desire that burns so deeply and brightly within one's being, that it cannot be put out by the adversities of life.
2. To reach our goals, we must define them clearly. Begin with the intended outcome, and describe it in detail. Write it out.
3. Goals must be visualized clearly. Use mental rehearsal. Imagine taking the actions. See, feel, and imagine the outcome you want as if you had already achieved it. Then, each day, give thanks for reaching your goal.
4. Goals must have a criteria for their attainment. They are time-bound. A goal without a clear criteria for it's attainment is not a goal; it is merely a wish. Time-bound goals inspire motivation toward the goal line, give a sense of urgency, and keep desire burning brightly.
5. Reaching goals requires consistent daily action: stepping forward onto a planned path and making corrections in direction when necessary.
6. Great goals are transcendent; they improve the quality of life for many and support our overall purpose in living, a dimension higher than ourselves. For this reason, we don't need to write a goal in stone. But, should we fall short of the goal line, we get up and write the goal again.
7. Reaching goals is a personal experience that inspires us to be our best. Reaching a goal is not meant to impress others, although it may inspire others. It is an experience of using our unique gifts and talents to the best of our ability. Most of all, believe with all your heart that you will achieve your vision. We define our future by looking ahead.
Zig Ziglar said it well: "The basic goal- reaching principle is to understand that you go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see farther." If you are reaching for a goal, ask yourself: "Am I looking backward or forward? If I am looking forward, how far am I seeing? May you reach all of your most cherished goals, and may your achievements bring benefit and joy to many others throughout the years ahead!
Wishing you blessings and success! :-)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Can we change our consciousness ?
Can we change our consciousness?
We cannot change who we are, but we can shift our identity from being the personality to being the soul. This is a shift from identifying oneself as one’s self-image to identifying with one’s essence. In truth, we really ARE the essence, the soul. And we HAVE the self-image or personality.
To say that we ARE the personality is tantamount to saying that we are our sensations, our emotions, and our thoughts – which we are not. We do not HAVE a soul. We ARE soul and HAVE a personality.
In ages past, people did not speak of changing consciousness. It was not relevant. Consciousness is identity. In the past, people were their personality. And still today, the majority of people identify with their personality as who they are. However, there are more and more people able to disidentify from their personality and identify with their essence, the soul.
In many ways, these two levels of self, of ‘I,’ are opposites. It requires an extremely radical shift in perspectives to make the change from identifying with the personality to identify with the soul. One must re-evaluate all previous ways of understanding, of thinking, of acting, and of being motivated.
The change in consciousness from personality identity to soul consciousness can only occur when a person is ready. Readiness is determined by:
Having sufficient experience from which one has learned a great deal about oneself.
Being willing and able to face the subconscious realities that one has previously repressed.
Having built up a strong ego, so one is able to withstand the vicissitudes of life.
Being independent and responsible for one’s own well-being.
Taking responsibility for the consequences of one’s choices.
We cannot force a change in consciousness. It must unfold in its proper time.
We cannot change who we are, but we can shift our identity from being the personality to being the soul. This is a shift from identifying oneself as one’s self-image to identifying with one’s essence. In truth, we really ARE the essence, the soul. And we HAVE the self-image or personality.
To say that we ARE the personality is tantamount to saying that we are our sensations, our emotions, and our thoughts – which we are not. We do not HAVE a soul. We ARE soul and HAVE a personality.
In ages past, people did not speak of changing consciousness. It was not relevant. Consciousness is identity. In the past, people were their personality. And still today, the majority of people identify with their personality as who they are. However, there are more and more people able to disidentify from their personality and identify with their essence, the soul.
In many ways, these two levels of self, of ‘I,’ are opposites. It requires an extremely radical shift in perspectives to make the change from identifying with the personality to identify with the soul. One must re-evaluate all previous ways of understanding, of thinking, of acting, and of being motivated.
The change in consciousness from personality identity to soul consciousness can only occur when a person is ready. Readiness is determined by:
Having sufficient experience from which one has learned a great deal about oneself.
Being willing and able to face the subconscious realities that one has previously repressed.
Having built up a strong ego, so one is able to withstand the vicissitudes of life.
Being independent and responsible for one’s own well-being.
Taking responsibility for the consequences of one’s choices.
We cannot force a change in consciousness. It must unfold in its proper time.
Friday, September 14, 2007
7 Steps to Discovering Your Passion
Even before the first tip, you simply must get out a notebook, journal, piece of paper, napkin...SOMETHING to write on to save your discoveries! These tips will only help if you pursue them, so please either take a moment to find writing tools NOW or print this out and promise yourself to complete this exercise later. It may take you some thinking time to get it done......and now....here are your tips.....
1. Find Your Joy Factor Look at the whole of your life history. When did you experience the most sustained period of Joy? What were you doing then? Where were you? Who were you with? How did it feel?
2. What Are Your 3 Most Favorite things to do? If you had a free day with NO commitments, where would you be found? What would you be doing with whom?
3. In what area do you excel? (NO MODESTY ALLOWED HERE!)Truly, what are you complimented on a lot? This could be ANYTHING.
4. What do you most want to be remembered for? If you were designing your epitaph, what would you want it to say? (NOT what your Mom wants, or your SPOUSE wants or your third cousin twice removed, but what do YOU want your headstone to say?)
5. If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your life TODAY? How would it look compared to how it looks now? Which aspects of your life ARE changeable, both short term and long term?
6. How does your Joy factor overlap with your favorite things and the areas in which you excel? Do the areas in which you excel bring YOU joy, or are they really for someone else.....do you see which are obvious matches, and which do not fit? Those that overlap, that bring YOU the most Joy, are most likely the things that would bring you into Passionate Living.
7. What is the first even teeny tiny step you can take to living out your Passion as you have defined in #6? Take some time to really think this one through... concentrate and focus,
1. Find Your Joy Factor Look at the whole of your life history. When did you experience the most sustained period of Joy? What were you doing then? Where were you? Who were you with? How did it feel?
2. What Are Your 3 Most Favorite things to do? If you had a free day with NO commitments, where would you be found? What would you be doing with whom?
3. In what area do you excel? (NO MODESTY ALLOWED HERE!)Truly, what are you complimented on a lot? This could be ANYTHING.
4. What do you most want to be remembered for? If you were designing your epitaph, what would you want it to say? (NOT what your Mom wants, or your SPOUSE wants or your third cousin twice removed, but what do YOU want your headstone to say?)
5. If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your life TODAY? How would it look compared to how it looks now? Which aspects of your life ARE changeable, both short term and long term?
6. How does your Joy factor overlap with your favorite things and the areas in which you excel? Do the areas in which you excel bring YOU joy, or are they really for someone else.....do you see which are obvious matches, and which do not fit? Those that overlap, that bring YOU the most Joy, are most likely the things that would bring you into Passionate Living.
7. What is the first even teeny tiny step you can take to living out your Passion as you have defined in #6? Take some time to really think this one through... concentrate and focus,
OWNERSHIP
One look at the photo and we are filled with feelings of exasperation that this sort of thing could have taken place. It tells us three things about the employee who was responsible for the drawing of the white line.
a. He has a poor attitude which is, "I will only do what I am paid for and nothing else".
b. Instead of solving problems, he circumvents them to the detriment of road users. Not only did he do a bad job, he also inadvertently informed the whole world about it.
c. He is obviously a de-motivated employee who may have self-esteem problems. He is only focused on serving his personal interests at the expense of the goals of the organization.
But on reflecting, isn’t this common in many organizations, i.e. this concept of "I will only do what I am paid for and nothing else, irrespective of whether it affects organizational performance". And before we smile and point fingers at others, please be aware that some of us may have this attitude unknowingly.
There are a few things we can learn from the above picture and situation:
Lesson 1. If you fall into this category of employees and think that you are adhering to your job description and nothing else, then your days at the organization or any other organization will be numbered. Please remember, that your company pays you not only to do your job well, but to also not make other people’s jobs difficult. Think of working as a ‘TEAM’ rather than as an individual in your individual silo.
Lesson 2. When you do not help to solve other employee’s problems, you in turn create problems for yourself. In the above scenario, when the guy responsible for removing tree branches comes and does his job, then the person responsible for drawing the line will have to make another special trip to that particular section to re-draw the line. In trying to make his job ‘easy’ the first time by circumventing the problem, he inadvertently created more work problems for himself in the future.
Lesson 3. From an overall perspective, it is unlikely that the individual who drew the white line will have a successful career. Organizations today, want employees who are pro-active and who work with the mission of trying to make the organization more successful. They want energized employees who work with a highly collaborative spirit. Employees today not only have to do their jobs well, but also synergize and make other people more efficient in their work. Individuals and departments who have a ‘silo mentality’ will be a liability to any organization.
Understanding Conciousness
One of the most difficult issues of life to define and understand is consciousness. Yet it is a word that is used everyday and people don’t think much about it. Self-help books and personal growth courses often use the terminology of consciousness but frequently don’t really understand what it is all about. Most confuse consciousness with awareness. They are similar ideas but in some ways opposite each other.
Clarity about consciousness is all important. If we cannot properly name something we do not know it. And not knowing it, we have no influence over it. I wish to share with you a few basic insights about consciousness.
We are entering a period of human growth and development where consciousness needs to be a priority focus for each of us if we are to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Meaning and purpose are the primary fruits of consciousness development.
Consciousness is what makes something what it is. It is what defines a person as to who they are. It is the essence of a thing which reveals both its universal truth and its unique individual characteristics. Consciousness is the soul of any reality, it is its essence.
Everyone and everything has an essence or a soul and everyone and everything has consciousness. Each person or thing is unique as individuals. But we are all part of something greater as well. It is consciousness or soul which links us to our greater, universal nature, sometimes called the Divine.
When you have consciousness you are using your heart, your intuition, or your faculties of knowing that transcend the mind. Heart, intuition and these other faculties exist in the realm of soul. So when you know with consciousness you are not separate from what you know. You merge with it. You identify with it as you experience it. It moves you in a way that you experience it as a part of your greater self.
When you have awareness you are using your mind to know something in an objective way. You know something about something. You possess or have knowledge, but as the one who knows you are separate from the thing you know. Awareness happens as a mental reflex whenever the mind is exposed to something, The only choice involved is what we want to pay attention to, or the extent to which we want to learn more about something.
You could call consciousness ‘soul knowing’. The beauty of soul knowing is that soul is not separate from what it knows or contacts. It sees itself in the other. In knowing it fully we touch its essence, and in doing so we love what we know. As soul beings we are essentially love. And through this knowing with soul we grow and expand our sense of who we are as soul beings. We find peace and harmony in our relationships with those people and situations that we approach with this consciousness.
Clarity about consciousness is all important. If we cannot properly name something we do not know it. And not knowing it, we have no influence over it. I wish to share with you a few basic insights about consciousness.
We are entering a period of human growth and development where consciousness needs to be a priority focus for each of us if we are to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Meaning and purpose are the primary fruits of consciousness development.
Consciousness is what makes something what it is. It is what defines a person as to who they are. It is the essence of a thing which reveals both its universal truth and its unique individual characteristics. Consciousness is the soul of any reality, it is its essence.
Everyone and everything has an essence or a soul and everyone and everything has consciousness. Each person or thing is unique as individuals. But we are all part of something greater as well. It is consciousness or soul which links us to our greater, universal nature, sometimes called the Divine.
When you have consciousness you are using your heart, your intuition, or your faculties of knowing that transcend the mind. Heart, intuition and these other faculties exist in the realm of soul. So when you know with consciousness you are not separate from what you know. You merge with it. You identify with it as you experience it. It moves you in a way that you experience it as a part of your greater self.
When you have awareness you are using your mind to know something in an objective way. You know something about something. You possess or have knowledge, but as the one who knows you are separate from the thing you know. Awareness happens as a mental reflex whenever the mind is exposed to something, The only choice involved is what we want to pay attention to, or the extent to which we want to learn more about something.
You could call consciousness ‘soul knowing’. The beauty of soul knowing is that soul is not separate from what it knows or contacts. It sees itself in the other. In knowing it fully we touch its essence, and in doing so we love what we know. As soul beings we are essentially love. And through this knowing with soul we grow and expand our sense of who we are as soul beings. We find peace and harmony in our relationships with those people and situations that we approach with this consciousness.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Moving on , Moving forward
"Do not dwell upon the sins and mistakes of yesterday so exclusively as to have no energy and mind left for living rightly today, and do not think that the sins of yesterday can prevent you from living purely today." - Byways of Blessedness
It's been said that the majority of conversations by men over 40 are about the past --- sometimes it's about the "good old days" and sometimes it's about the deals gone bad, the "if I only had" stories, the missed opportunities, etc. Letting our "sins and mistakes of yesterday" dominate our thinking today robs us of our present joy and our future happiness. It causes us to miss the real opportunity of TODAY!
John Maxwell, in his outstanding best seller, Failing Forward, gives some great practical advice: "To move forward today, you must learn to say good-bye to yesterday's hurts, tragedies and baggage. You can't build a monument to past problems and fail forward."Take time right now to list the negative events from your past that may still be holding you hostage.
For each item you list, go through the following exercise:
1. Acknowledge the pain.
2. Grieve the loss.
3. Forgive the person.
4. Forgive yourself.
5. Determine to release the event and move on.
"Your best days are definitely ahead of you if you treat your "mistakes" as necessary lessons to be learned. If you understand that each lesson brings with it a certain amount of wisdom, you can understand how truly enhanced your life is becoming. Many people can't achieve the success of their dreams because they won't leave their past behind. They won't tear down the monuments they've built to their old hurts and problems.
One of my all-time favorite affirmation verses comes from the Apostle Paul who said, "...but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal..." One of the best teachings I ever heard on this was from a motivational speaker whose name has escaped me, but whose message didn't: "In life there are no mistakes, only lessons."And that's worth thinking about.
It's been said that the majority of conversations by men over 40 are about the past --- sometimes it's about the "good old days" and sometimes it's about the deals gone bad, the "if I only had" stories, the missed opportunities, etc. Letting our "sins and mistakes of yesterday" dominate our thinking today robs us of our present joy and our future happiness. It causes us to miss the real opportunity of TODAY!
John Maxwell, in his outstanding best seller, Failing Forward, gives some great practical advice: "To move forward today, you must learn to say good-bye to yesterday's hurts, tragedies and baggage. You can't build a monument to past problems and fail forward."Take time right now to list the negative events from your past that may still be holding you hostage.
For each item you list, go through the following exercise:
1. Acknowledge the pain.
2. Grieve the loss.
3. Forgive the person.
4. Forgive yourself.
5. Determine to release the event and move on.
"Your best days are definitely ahead of you if you treat your "mistakes" as necessary lessons to be learned. If you understand that each lesson brings with it a certain amount of wisdom, you can understand how truly enhanced your life is becoming. Many people can't achieve the success of their dreams because they won't leave their past behind. They won't tear down the monuments they've built to their old hurts and problems.
One of my all-time favorite affirmation verses comes from the Apostle Paul who said, "...but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal..." One of the best teachings I ever heard on this was from a motivational speaker whose name has escaped me, but whose message didn't: "In life there are no mistakes, only lessons."And that's worth thinking about.
Jack Welch in the book, “Control Your Destiny or Someone Else Will”
FACE REALITY AS IT IS, NOT AS IT WAS OR AS YOU WISH IT WERE
The above statement is as true for organizations as it is for individuals. From an organizational viewpoint, too many corporations stagnate on their past success. They keep on using the processes and methods that brought them previous success. What was right and what brought success in the ‘old days’ may not necessarily be the right processes or methods for today. Success formulas change every day.
Control Your Destiny or Someone Else WillFor example, Kodak and Fuji, the worlds leading photo film makers will have to accept the reality that in 5 years time, there will be minimal demand for their product because of digital cameras. As much as there is a sentimental feeling for their product, they will have to move on into the arena of cameras, photocopiers etc. They will have to accept the reality that although they were No 1 in their product line a few years ago, they are now way back in the pack as far as their new products are concerned.
On the other hand the traditional mini-market must realize that with the hypermarkets, they will have to offer value added services to compete. Subang Grocer a mini-market in Subang Jaya allows it’s customers to buy products online and then undertakes to deliver these products to their consumers homes. In spite of the presence of CarreFour, Makro, Giant and now Mydeen, this mini-market is doing very well. Its success is largely due to the fact that it faced reality and reasoned out that to compete with these hyper-markets, it had to concentrate on value added services. It could not do business the ‘old’ way anymore.
In the course of my training, I have gone to many organizations where I always feel that the main problem is that senior management did not want to face reality, but hoped that things would change or else interpreted reality in their own lopsided way. When sales go down, they come up with statements like, "Don’t worry, it will turn around", "it’s only a short down turn, sales will go up in the next six months". When informed that China or India will be a threat in terms of competition, they go into denial mode and remark that it will not happen during their lifetimes. Slowly, but surely, organizations like these will wither away, and one of the main reasons for this is that reality was too difficult to face.
The message above is also relevant from an individual perspective.
How many of us have improved our skills and competences to take into account the changing working environment.
How many of us have changed our mindsets to take into account the different values and work ethics that new employees bring to the workplace?
How many of us have learnt new skills that were not relevant or important 10 years ago, but are critical today. Not knowing how to touch type for example is a serious handicap for employees today. To remain ‘relevant’ I believe that managers must make efforts to discard some of these outdated, culture-influenced ‘mental models’ and to adapt to the changing needs of the very competitive business environment.
A positive start would be for CEO’s and all managers to adhere to the following three simple principles:
Indulge in less rhetoric and more action in terms of best practices.
Surround yourself with good managers/people.
Accept and encourage contradiction at all times.
Practice of the above will most certainly go a long way to ensure continued success of organizations in the current volatile business environment.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Effective Listening
Highly successful people tend to be excellent listeners.
On the other hand, people who struggle in life tend to be so wrapped up in their own 'story' they can't really hear what is available for them.
Effective listeners have developed the ability to temporarily let go of their history, beliefs, assumptions, expectations, wants, needs, and desires in order to be open to new information and ideas. They, of course, don't change their opinions just because some new data shows up, but they are open to receiving it.
Listening is an important attribute of being open. Their model is listen, receive, evaluate, move forward. But people who must have their present and future be a certain way take those needs into every conversation. You know what it's like to talk with someone who's 'mind is already made up.' They are not effective listeners. And you have probably found them to be not very happy, satisfied, comfortable with life, nor fun to be around.
What can you do to temporarily let go of your story and practice really hearing the
abundant information, knowledge, and wisdom which surrounds you?
The Power of a Positive Attitude
Introduction
Attitude is one of the most important elements in life. It applies to every sphere of life, including one’s personal and professional life. Everyone has a potential in life, and a positive attitude will go a long way towards achieving that potential. Can an individual be a good manager without a good attitude? Can an individual be a good speaker without a positive attitude? For that matter, can a person be a good parent without a good attitude? The answer to all these questions is a clear, “NO”. The foundation of success in life, regardless of your chosen field, is attitude.
In a survey carried out by Harvard University in 1994, Chief Executive Officers of major corporations in North America were asked the question, “If you had a magic wand and there was one thing you could change in your company to make it more effective, more productive, more efficient, and more competitive, what would it be?” The majority answered, “the attitude of my employees”. This finding is complemented further in the study when they asked companies, what was the main criteria used when staff were recruited. They answered that 85% of the time, the main criteria was attitude, and 15% of the time the criteria was skills, experience and other factors. It is clear from the above, that attitude plays a critical role in the success of individuals as well as organizations. All the above is as relevant in a Malaysian environment as it is in the American context.
Do you agree ?
Attitude is one of the most important elements in life. It applies to every sphere of life, including one’s personal and professional life. Everyone has a potential in life, and a positive attitude will go a long way towards achieving that potential. Can an individual be a good manager without a good attitude? Can an individual be a good speaker without a positive attitude? For that matter, can a person be a good parent without a good attitude? The answer to all these questions is a clear, “NO”. The foundation of success in life, regardless of your chosen field, is attitude.
In a survey carried out by Harvard University in 1994, Chief Executive Officers of major corporations in North America were asked the question, “If you had a magic wand and there was one thing you could change in your company to make it more effective, more productive, more efficient, and more competitive, what would it be?” The majority answered, “the attitude of my employees”. This finding is complemented further in the study when they asked companies, what was the main criteria used when staff were recruited. They answered that 85% of the time, the main criteria was attitude, and 15% of the time the criteria was skills, experience and other factors. It is clear from the above, that attitude plays a critical role in the success of individuals as well as organizations. All the above is as relevant in a Malaysian environment as it is in the American context.
Do you agree ?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Slacker
The slacker always looks like he’s overwhelmed with work, but it’s a carefully orchestrated act. In reality, he doesn’t pull his weight. But he has talent to burn. And that’s something he proves every time he actually completes a task.
On managing The Slacker
You call him in, tell him he’s got a lot of talent—and that’s the good news. Then you tell him the bad news is that his work habits need a lot of work. Lay out examples of what you consider the right level of dedication to the job. Give good examples—without naming names—of what others are doing with their timelines, productivity and turnaround times. This gives him an understanding of your expectations. Then compare his level of output to those good examples. If he is a new employee, maybe it’s just a matter of him not having a clear understanding of what’s expected of him. If he’s a long-time employee, I’m surprised that he’s still around, and I would be very blunt: “Look, you’re very talented, but you’re not pulling your weight.”
" Learn to work harder on yourself than your job "
In a seminar by Jack Canfield, he said something to the effect of "Learn to work harder on yourself than on your job. When you work hard on your job, you can make a living, but when you work hard on yourself you can make a fortune." I cannot help but agree wholeheartedly with his statement. Do you realize that many of us put in hours and hours of hard work at our jobs? This is good, but it brings about two problems. Firstly, we work hard because we are doing the same things and therefore the only way to get better results is to work even harder. Secondly, we are neglecting ourselves in relation to our own personal development and skill sets.
Like Jack Canfield, I believe that we need to focus on working harder on ourselves, and on improving ourselves as opposed to working harder at our job. Let’s take a salesman for example. Let’s say he works 8 hours a day trying to sell his products. I would think that if he invested a half hour of his time daily in improving his sales skills by reading books, listening to audio tapes, going for seminars/training or interacting with star salesmen, then he will most certainly become better at what he does. By applying what he learns he will then most certainly improve his sales results from the same number of calls that he makes. He improves not because he worked harder, but because he used different methods or else improved his previous methods.
We are all products in the job market and therefore need to always be knowledgeable and competitive so that we remain competent at what we do. What we know and how proficient we are in the skills that we have determines our "market-value" in the job market. It is therefore important that we "invest" in ourselves by constantly upgrading and learning new skills or improving those that we have already acquired. The trouble with most of us is that we tend to leave this heavy responsibility of our personal development to the company’s training department or our immediate supervisor. I would argue that it is best for us to take charge of our own careers. Anything extra the company does will be a bonus.
Please remember that if you keep on doing things the way you are now, you will continue to produce the same results and therefore your career will remain stagnant. Worse still, you will have to work harder and harder as your management will obviously expect greater productivity through time.
As Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same things but expecting different results".
Like Jack Canfield, I believe that we need to focus on working harder on ourselves, and on improving ourselves as opposed to working harder at our job. Let’s take a salesman for example. Let’s say he works 8 hours a day trying to sell his products. I would think that if he invested a half hour of his time daily in improving his sales skills by reading books, listening to audio tapes, going for seminars/training or interacting with star salesmen, then he will most certainly become better at what he does. By applying what he learns he will then most certainly improve his sales results from the same number of calls that he makes. He improves not because he worked harder, but because he used different methods or else improved his previous methods.
We are all products in the job market and therefore need to always be knowledgeable and competitive so that we remain competent at what we do. What we know and how proficient we are in the skills that we have determines our "market-value" in the job market. It is therefore important that we "invest" in ourselves by constantly upgrading and learning new skills or improving those that we have already acquired. The trouble with most of us is that we tend to leave this heavy responsibility of our personal development to the company’s training department or our immediate supervisor. I would argue that it is best for us to take charge of our own careers. Anything extra the company does will be a bonus.
Please remember that if you keep on doing things the way you are now, you will continue to produce the same results and therefore your career will remain stagnant. Worse still, you will have to work harder and harder as your management will obviously expect greater productivity through time.
As Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same things but expecting different results".
Office pests ; The Weasal
The Weasel
The weasel takes more credit than he deserves and dodges responsibility for his failures. To make matters worse, he’s so good at this that his boss believes he’s a star performer.
On working with the weasel
Direct, face-to-face, adult-to-adult communication is probably risky here. This person is usually verbally skilled and in possession of highly developed blame, denial, projection and word-twisting skills. You may hate it, but you can consistently, privately and in front of the thief, let your boss know what you are accomplishing. Brace yourself and learn to blow your own horn.
As well, you don’t need to be nice, social or inclusive with this individual. Sharing the minimum amount of information with this person is an option.
As well, you don’t need to be nice, social or inclusive with this individual. Sharing the minimum amount of information with this person is an option.
Another option is for a group of employees to conspire to expose the weasel, but this isn’t for everyone. If you go this route, you have to keep doing it consistently until the person starts to do their own work.
If all else fails, and you can stomach it, take ’em on and confront them directly.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Office Pests; The Bully
The Bully
The bully is one of your brightest employees, but she can be brutal in her critique of other people’s ideas. As a result, some of your workers have stopped talking during meetings when she is present.
On managing the bully
Take her aside. Say something such as, “I understand meetings can be frustratingly inefficient, and we need to find ways to maximize that time. "That said, my observation is people often feel brutalized by your searing critiques of ideas that you deem less than stellar. You potentially add a lot of value to this organization. But a meeting is a team exercise. People need to feel free to speak or we risk losing their valuable thoughts. "You’re also alienating people, sacrificing their willingness to execute a great idea you have. There are far more deft ways of getting people to work with you, rather than against you. "First off, eliminate the brutal criticism and replace it with openness to fast-paced, constructive brainstorming. And acknowledge that team members are trying.”
Monday, August 27, 2007
Office Pest ; The Whiner
The Whiner
The whiner complains so much about work, you’d think it was part of his official job description. His rants, which are sometimes amusing, have begun to take their toll and are demoralizing his co-workers.
This person fears conflict and confrontation. These types of people have problems taking responsibility for their complaints, needs, wants and frustrations. They’re also often angry folks—like dogs who attack when a person turns away.
Whiners stop complaining when people deny them an audience. Co-workers can choose to react to rants with a deadpan face or platitudes such as, “Ah, he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Employees can also agree on a uniform response such as, “And your purpose in telling me this is?”
You could also treat the whiner like an adult and say, “I’d be glad to help you identify who owns this problem and help you brainstorm possible solutions.” Another response could be, “Let me get the boss and we can hash this out once and for all.”
You could also treat the whiner like an adult and say, “I’d be glad to help you identify who owns this problem and help you brainstorm possible solutions.” Another response could be, “Let me get the boss and we can hash this out once and for all.”
The whiner complains so much about work, you’d think it was part of his official job description. His rants, which are sometimes amusing, have begun to take their toll and are demoralizing his co-workers.
On working with the whiner
This person fears conflict and confrontation. These types of people have problems taking responsibility for their complaints, needs, wants and frustrations. They’re also often angry folks—like dogs who attack when a person turns away.Whiners stop complaining when people deny them an audience. Co-workers can choose to react to rants with a deadpan face or platitudes such as, “Ah, he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Employees can also agree on a uniform response such as, “And your purpose in telling me this is?”
You could also treat the whiner like an adult and say, “I’d be glad to help you identify who owns this problem and help you brainstorm possible solutions.” Another response could be, “Let me get the boss and we can hash this out once and for all.”
You could also treat the whiner like an adult and say, “I’d be glad to help you identify who owns this problem and help you brainstorm possible solutions.” Another response could be, “Let me get the boss and we can hash this out once and for all.”
BOSS FROM HELL ?
Imagine the absolute worst.
Your boss summons you to his office. Once you're inside, he races behind you to slam the door shut. Then he fires a chair across the room in your direction.
"You son of a bitch!" he screams at you. "Don't you know who you work for?"
"Yes, I do," you manage to say.
"I didn't ask you to talk. Shut your mouth!"
And when you stay quiet, only to have still more abuse and derision heaped on you, the boss begins knocking his fist on an imaginary door.
"Well, hello," he says mockingly. "Is anybody there?"
Fiction? I'm afraid not. It's a real scene from many companies .
This kind of Boss sucked the very life and soul out of companies and people. He stole dignity, purpose, and sense out of organizations and replaced those ideals with fear and intimidation.
Oh, sure, he was none too fond of me, either.
The psychopathic boss doesn't understand that the job of leadership is to fully utilize human potential, to create organizations in which people can grow and learn while still achieving a common objective, to nurture the human spirit. This leader is devoted to self and self alone. Business history is populated by such creatures, from Henry Ford and Walt Disney to Harold Geneen and Andy Fastow.
I've known plenty of colleagues who have had the misfortune of reporting to dysfunctional bosses. But I've also been not so lucky enough to come too close to one --
Ever had the same experience .... How did you deal with it ?
Your boss summons you to his office. Once you're inside, he races behind you to slam the door shut. Then he fires a chair across the room in your direction.
"You son of a bitch!" he screams at you. "Don't you know who you work for?"
"Yes, I do," you manage to say.
"I didn't ask you to talk. Shut your mouth!"
And when you stay quiet, only to have still more abuse and derision heaped on you, the boss begins knocking his fist on an imaginary door.
"Well, hello," he says mockingly. "Is anybody there?"
Fiction? I'm afraid not. It's a real scene from many companies .
This kind of Boss sucked the very life and soul out of companies and people. He stole dignity, purpose, and sense out of organizations and replaced those ideals with fear and intimidation.
Oh, sure, he was none too fond of me, either.
The psychopathic boss doesn't understand that the job of leadership is to fully utilize human potential, to create organizations in which people can grow and learn while still achieving a common objective, to nurture the human spirit. This leader is devoted to self and self alone. Business history is populated by such creatures, from Henry Ford and Walt Disney to Harold Geneen and Andy Fastow.
I've known plenty of colleagues who have had the misfortune of reporting to dysfunctional bosses. But I've also been not so lucky enough to come too close to one --
Ever had the same experience .... How did you deal with it ?
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Stallions & Donkeys Analogy
There are however some things you need to be aware of when managing stallions and donkeys in the context of Talent Management. These are:
· Stallions (high performers) are the ones who will win races for you. However they do not come cheap. They are also expensive to maintain as they need special veterinary care, vitamins, air-conditioned stables etc. They are however worth it as they ‘win’ races for you which brings in the dollars (One idea or a new process created by a high performer can save you millions or on the other hand make you millions).
On the other hand, donkeys given the same ‘special treatment’ will never ever win races for you. In his article, ‘The True Value of Hiring and Retaining Top Performers’, author Dr John Sullivan (a top HR specialist in the US) states that "Top performers exceed the performance of average performers by at least 25%". When you translate that into dollars and cents it can be very big money.
Never recruit a stallion and use it to carry heavy loads. That is not its primary function and if you continue to do so you will turn him into a donkey or he will leave. You are also wasting talent and skills. On the other hand, never recruit a donkey and then think that through the process of training and development or other methods that you can make him win races. It will never ever happen and is definitely not worth the time and effort!
· Stallions want to be treated like stallions. They know that they can win races and therefore know that they are special. They also know that they are very marketable which may make them a little conceited. Accept their egos. It is a small price to pay for excellence. When you treat them like donkeys, they get de-motivated which in turn results in them not winning races or else they leave.
· It is easy to convert a stallion into a donkey by mismanaging him, de-motivating him etc. On the other hand, try as he may, even David Copperfield will not be able to convert a donkey into a stallion.
· NEVER, EVER allow a donkey to manage stallions. He will soon convert all the stallions into donkeys. Curt Coffman, lead researcher at Gallup says that "If you have a turnover problem look first to your managers," he asserts. "People leave managers, not companies."
· Lastly, identify the stallions in your organization and do all you can to keep them. It’s okay to allow the donkeys to leave. Donkeys are easily replaceable, stallions are not.
Simple Secrets to Managing Workplace Stress
The time you spend at the office may be the most stressful part of your day, but it doesn't have to be.
You have a greater ability to shape your office environment than you may realize.
Take breaks throughout the day. It will help clear your mind and relieve pressure. Something as simple as going to the water cooler for a drink may do the trick.
Enroll in a noontime or an after-work exercise class. This will give you a chance to unwind and a way to relieve stress.
To help your workday go smoothly, try pacing your activities: Do more demanding work in the morning, when your energy level is higher, and easier work later in the day, when you may be tired.
Try listening to music recordings, such as a pounding surf or songbirds, to help you relax. Such tapes are sold commercially. Use headphones if you'll be listening to them in the middle of the workday.
Get to work early or stay late once a week. You may be able to accomplish more when you vary your routine.
If your stress comes from job insecurity, take stock of yourself. Update your resume, and remind yourself of your skills and strengths. Also, make sure you keep up with new developments in your field. This will make you valuable to employers.
Don't let work rumors, which are usually false, cause you worry. A co-worker may just be thinking out loud about worst-case scenarios.
The time you spend at the office may be the most stressful part of your day, but it doesn't have to be.
You have a greater ability to shape your office environment than you may realize.
Take breaks throughout the day. It will help clear your mind and relieve pressure. Something as simple as going to the water cooler for a drink may do the trick.
Enroll in a noontime or an after-work exercise class. This will give you a chance to unwind and a way to relieve stress.
To help your workday go smoothly, try pacing your activities: Do more demanding work in the morning, when your energy level is higher, and easier work later in the day, when you may be tired.
Try listening to music recordings, such as a pounding surf or songbirds, to help you relax. Such tapes are sold commercially. Use headphones if you'll be listening to them in the middle of the workday.
Get to work early or stay late once a week. You may be able to accomplish more when you vary your routine.
If your stress comes from job insecurity, take stock of yourself. Update your resume, and remind yourself of your skills and strengths. Also, make sure you keep up with new developments in your field. This will make you valuable to employers.
Don't let work rumors, which are usually false, cause you worry. A co-worker may just be thinking out loud about worst-case scenarios.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Daily Motivator
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
Winston Churchill
The best go-getters have always been life’s best go-givers. Day after day, life’s top achievers give their best effort and then give some more. Even when they’re about to give out or tempted to give in, they knuckle down and give it their very best shot. These winners cannot be defeated because they simply refuse to lose.
Instead of focusing on ‘what’s in it for them,’ getting as much as they can as quick as they can, they set their sights on something much more powerful, much more noteworthy. These individuals, the real movers and shakers renown for making things happen, live to give and then give some more.
Instead of focusing on ‘what’s in it for them,’ getting as much as they can as quick as they can, they set their sights on something much more powerful, much more noteworthy. These individuals, the real movers and shakers renown for making things happen, live to give and then give some more.
DAILY MOTIVATOR
"The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving."
Albert Einstein
This uncomplicated but extremely powerful precept is simply this: the more you give, the more you get in return. The more you’re willing to give of yourself, the more you’ll have come back to you. And the more you give to others, the more you will have to give again. This LIVE TO GIVE approach and its immeasurable benefits are virtually lost on the vast majority of people.
Too many of us foolishly go through life harboring a scarcity mindset, a myopic mindset where we erroneously believe that there’s only so much to go around. Instead of seeing the limitless bounty that surrounds us, abundance well beyond what any of us could ever hope to have and to hold, we see scarcity. So instead of giving and receiving, we choose to get all that we can get while the getting is good. And where does all of this getting actually get us? Almost without exception, it gets us right back where we started - without and wanting more.
Albert Einstein
This uncomplicated but extremely powerful precept is simply this: the more you give, the more you get in return. The more you’re willing to give of yourself, the more you’ll have come back to you. And the more you give to others, the more you will have to give again. This LIVE TO GIVE approach and its immeasurable benefits are virtually lost on the vast majority of people.
Too many of us foolishly go through life harboring a scarcity mindset, a myopic mindset where we erroneously believe that there’s only so much to go around. Instead of seeing the limitless bounty that surrounds us, abundance well beyond what any of us could ever hope to have and to hold, we see scarcity. So instead of giving and receiving, we choose to get all that we can get while the getting is good. And where does all of this getting actually get us? Almost without exception, it gets us right back where we started - without and wanting more.
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