Great conversations result when there’s an easy give and take, a go-with-the-flow sensation, along with an acute sense that you are being heard at a deeper level than the normal chitchat. In this instance, good conversations resemble improvisational theatre. Improv actually depends upon all the actors paying close attention to each other and then working with whatever is presented to them. Let me repeat that: pay attention and work with whatever is presented.
Select someone you’d like to (or need to) talk to. Open up the conversation by stating either why you’ve initiated the conversation or by asking an open-ended question. Then, practice these techniques:
Encourage talking by saying, “Yes…tell me more.” This means that no matter what is stated, don’t change the subject, get defensive, fail to listen, or ignore the response. You have the opportunity to create new and positive results by building upon whatever is said.
Don’t plan your response while the other person is speaking.
Seek what is provocative, interesting, or new in what you are hearing. There’s a gift somewhere. Trust me. Ask the other person to expand on something that intrigues you – even if it bothers you.
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