Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Handling Conflicts
Interpersonal Conflicts … When There’s No Time for Planning
It’s bound to happen. Sooner or later you’ll be caught off guard – finding yourself smack dab in the middle of an unexpected conflict with someone on your team. You’re in it before you know it, and there’s no time for formulating a well-thought-out resolution strategy. You’ve got to respond in some way, and you have to do it NOW! What do you do? How can you keep the situation from escalating and ending up some-where you DON’T want to be? Here are a few suggestions:
Stop, breath, and think. Stop whatever you’re doing, take a couple of deep breaths to control your tension, and then immediately (and quickly) think about exactly what you need to do and say next.
Acknowledge the conflict by saying something like: Michael, I’m sensing that there are some issues between the two of us that we need to talk through, or, Kim, I’m feeling that I might have done something to upset you. Can we talk about it?
Buy some time.
Suggest that you meet at a later time that day (or the following day) so that you both have an opportunity to relax a little and gather your thoughts. If the other person agrees, use the time to prepare for the meeting. If the person doesn’t agree on a time delay …
Take it somewhere else (if other coworkers are present).
That way, you’ll avoid disrupting the rest of the group – and you’ll eliminate any temptations you and the other person might have to “showboat” or maintain some bogus image in front of your teammates. Suggest a different venue with words such as: It’s best for everyone if we keep this just between us. Where else would you feel comfortable talking?
Keep it respectful.
Do your absolute best to conduct yourself in a calm and respectful manner – regardless of how the other person responds. Will it be easy? Of course not! But that doesn’t change the fact that although you can’t control what others do, you certainly can (and do) control your own behavior.
It’s bound to happen. Sooner or later you’ll be caught off guard – finding yourself smack dab in the middle of an unexpected conflict with someone on your team. You’re in it before you know it, and there’s no time for formulating a well-thought-out resolution strategy. You’ve got to respond in some way, and you have to do it NOW! What do you do? How can you keep the situation from escalating and ending up some-where you DON’T want to be? Here are a few suggestions:
Stop, breath, and think. Stop whatever you’re doing, take a couple of deep breaths to control your tension, and then immediately (and quickly) think about exactly what you need to do and say next.
Acknowledge the conflict by saying something like: Michael, I’m sensing that there are some issues between the two of us that we need to talk through, or, Kim, I’m feeling that I might have done something to upset you. Can we talk about it?
Buy some time.
Suggest that you meet at a later time that day (or the following day) so that you both have an opportunity to relax a little and gather your thoughts. If the other person agrees, use the time to prepare for the meeting. If the person doesn’t agree on a time delay …
Take it somewhere else (if other coworkers are present).
That way, you’ll avoid disrupting the rest of the group – and you’ll eliminate any temptations you and the other person might have to “showboat” or maintain some bogus image in front of your teammates. Suggest a different venue with words such as: It’s best for everyone if we keep this just between us. Where else would you feel comfortable talking?
Keep it respectful.
Do your absolute best to conduct yourself in a calm and respectful manner – regardless of how the other person responds. Will it be easy? Of course not! But that doesn’t change the fact that although you can’t control what others do, you certainly can (and do) control your own behavior.
Friday, July 3, 2009
W W P D
Applying “The Pareto Principle” to Your Goals
Vilfredo Pareto was a 19th-century Italian social scientist and critic. He observed that 80% of the wealth in Italy, at the time, was concentrated in 20% of the population – something he felt that was not good for society. While the genesis of his work is very seldom discussed, his name lives on in what is known as The Pareto Principle, or “the 80/20 rule” – a concept that is a relevant today as it was when it was first developed.
Talk to contemporary entrepreneurs and most will tell you that 80% of their business comes from 20% of their customers. Human resources executives will typically suggest that 80% of the employee relations problems and issues they have to deal with come from just 20% of the employees. And most business managers would agree that it’s a minority of their team members who are responsible for a majority of the innovation, creativity, and superior work their organizations enjoy. In all of these examples, the Pareto Principle suggests that we should pay attention to, and focus our efforts on, the critical few (the 20%) rather than the trivial or average many (the 80%).
So what does all this have to do with you and your goals? A lot! There’s a myriad of things you can do in pursuit of your professional and personal objectives. A large number of them fall into the 80% – the “trivial many.” A much smaller number fall in the “critical few” category – the important 20%.
Take a look at your goals and the action plans you’ve developed for meeting them. What are you doing? How are you investing your precious time? What do your past experiences – and the experiences of others – tell you? Are you focusing on “need to do,” high payback activities – or on less important, “like to do” tasks? Remember it’s that “critical few” that will propel you furthest and give you the most bang for your time an energy buck. When in doubt, think W-W-P-D (What Would Pareto Do?).
Vilfredo Pareto was a 19th-century Italian social scientist and critic. He observed that 80% of the wealth in Italy, at the time, was concentrated in 20% of the population – something he felt that was not good for society. While the genesis of his work is very seldom discussed, his name lives on in what is known as The Pareto Principle, or “the 80/20 rule” – a concept that is a relevant today as it was when it was first developed.
Talk to contemporary entrepreneurs and most will tell you that 80% of their business comes from 20% of their customers. Human resources executives will typically suggest that 80% of the employee relations problems and issues they have to deal with come from just 20% of the employees. And most business managers would agree that it’s a minority of their team members who are responsible for a majority of the innovation, creativity, and superior work their organizations enjoy. In all of these examples, the Pareto Principle suggests that we should pay attention to, and focus our efforts on, the critical few (the 20%) rather than the trivial or average many (the 80%).
So what does all this have to do with you and your goals? A lot! There’s a myriad of things you can do in pursuit of your professional and personal objectives. A large number of them fall into the 80% – the “trivial many.” A much smaller number fall in the “critical few” category – the important 20%.
Take a look at your goals and the action plans you’ve developed for meeting them. What are you doing? How are you investing your precious time? What do your past experiences – and the experiences of others – tell you? Are you focusing on “need to do,” high payback activities – or on less important, “like to do” tasks? Remember it’s that “critical few” that will propel you furthest and give you the most bang for your time an energy buck. When in doubt, think W-W-P-D (What Would Pareto Do?).
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Growing distant
Meaning of Love and Hate
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.''But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice?
Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.
'Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
'MORAL : When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.''But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice?
Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.
'Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
'MORAL : When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
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